rejection was the most avoided thing in my life, i didnt try anything new for years, so that i cud avoid finding lots of things and people that i really needed to know... and love... to get practise, getting hurt, is fun, it's stretching me out, laying me down, to dry after I experience the feelings we all did, when we went through the process of loving our parents, our friends, our lovers and then making ammends... I havent dared to care too often, cos i knew from the start how much it would hurt, i avoided emotional pain, so much so that i've been working through it for years since my 35th bday... it wasnt important for me to mark it for myself, i was at the time deciding without telling anyone, that i was going away, and never coming back, i said goodbye to everyone and every thing and the old me even, i rejected myself so thoroughly, someone new was able to appear as if by magic, cos i let it happen and didnt stand in my way. loving all this feeling, feeling emotions, feeling anything is a novelty, so i can't complain, just enjoying the differences between the pain and the sensation of relief now i'm diving in, not standing around dipping my toes in so much, although i'm still taking my time to assess and address the beat but ive still got love for the streets ♥ and fields