Now I have to wonder what to do to make up for all the things that have happened since and it's not me that has been affected by it worst of all and without going into it any further it's been an example of why I need to grow up, be more organised and sensible, think aswell as feel what I ought to do next ànd listen more and generally not leave things to others.
Monday 9 April 2018
I've messed up and I don't know how to make it right
I went away and left my car with my mum and dad so that she could use it while I was gone and I'm so badly organised I didn't realise that the M.O.T. ran out shortly after I left. I don't wish to explain anything about the details except to say that this has just been another massive fuck up on my part because I wasn't responsible enough to deal with this before I flew out because I just didn't know it was due.
Wednesday 4 April 2018
Womanity continuity
So where did we get to oh yeah I was hitching and almost immediately got picked up by a woman who told me so many incredibly useful and insightful things like never eat pork because pigs being so closely related to humans, means they can carry diseases we can catch by consuming them and people suffering from Multiple sclerosis should cut out all dairy and protein from their diet because the error in their genetic makeup that causes the condition and deterioration uses protein to further the damage that has begun. Also I learned how high a percentage of dairy cattle put forward to be added to the meat industry are riddled with pus and are not fit for human consumption because of the way they are used all their lives meaning the milk and then other products that ome from that also are not a healthy addition to any diet. Vegans will know this already but it concretises the decision not to consume anything coming from that source.
We chatted and I explained that I do healing work with people to initiate their own body to access and use resources within to heal them.
The magic of that meeting, her willinness to take me to where I could continue on with my journey and our exchange of information was truly beautiful and I had not slept for days for longer than an hour or two so fairly rapidly after a nap and another in Friday night traffic meant I eventually ended up at another services this time on the M42 above Manchester and then planned a route from there to the monastery for the meditation weekend that had brought me home from Spain I the first place. As I walked and listened I learnt how to comport myself in a strange place.
Hearing within the guidance to walk on the outside of the pavement how to be dressed how to hold myself how to be and act.
All the while not knowing where I was but where I was going checking the maps on buss tops from time to time walking and learning and traversing a new city as I made me way with tiredness following me but a sense of adventure nonetheless and always a need to respect the environment and myself and others.
So I finally got to an area I knew a lttle and because I was choosing to trust the guidance I received i also wanted to prove to myself that I could walk up to a place I had been before also. I got to Heaven on Earth the Space. Walking around not knowing where the monastery was I asked a guy having a smoke in his doorstep and his girlfriend told him to tell me where he area of Gorton was. Ajacent to where I was and so I kept on going. Past a club with a lot of people milling around outside a little fearful of the area and people.
Drive on keep on going you can do it I heard.
Always facing the fact that I have a positive inner dialogue these days along with a need to accept those parts of myself some deny exist.
I found the monastey nestled in a housing estate with new looking houses and high value modern cars so I took myself to a bus top and fell asleep sat with my rucksack and things.
Waking up I waited until hey opened the gates and sat on a bench to wait until everyone else came to the event.
I slept through the meditations for the most part and lunchime came around. I had no money and was gifted a banana and tried to see if anyone would take pity on me further.
All I had to give were crystals I had found and brought with me from my travels so I gave them to the people sat on my table and by the end of the weekend I had given almost all of them away and experienced the Joy of meeting new people being offered a little something here and there doin some healing only to receive some surprisingly from an older gentleman called Roger and generally being muh more myself after having asked and been offered a place to stay at a flat with someone I barely knew all the while being dared to do things that have terrified me all of my life.
Askin for what I need. Facing possible rejection. Ignoring thoughts of failure.
Being able and willing to be better and succeed where before there was only ever anxiety and dread. Living life based on a reduced need for things like food and only what I had with me.
By the second day well rested although we had stayed up very late or early depending on your point of view ;) it came to the end of the day and I had nowhere to go but home finally for the first time in over a month and needing a lift a woman I had met also required a ride home, one of the people I had got to speak to because of the gift of amethysts and shared experience of the weekend. So I asked Roger if he knew of anyone going south for this woman. It would be great if there was room for two but she was more important to my mind because she had further to go and I was brought up to respect and honour women children before myself. There was! Not only that but room for me aswell yes what a day.
So chatting as we headed home lead to a meeting in Glastonbury the following week and a walk up to the tor, collecting some spring water and seein a chap whose face I knew from somewhere and my new friend was only too happy for me to go and discover where and how and why I recognised this homeless man.
We had met it transpired on the high treet in the town on New Years Eve when he had just gotten back from Spain and I was going to a party in the Assembly rooms to meet friends.
So as we caught up it turned out that he was going back to Spain in a few weeks time. To the same area I had just left. To the same village and to the very same beach I had just been living on for the past several weeks!
Incredible amazin wonderful synchronicity!
So that was a catalyst for me to choose a flight close to his knowing I will have someone who knows the area well on my return and more than that he's been to the communities I would like to visit over there and our future was set.
Bumped into someone from Birmingham who had been to the meditaton weekend who was house sitting just outside the town after that.
I was havin difficulty keeping the biggest grin from my face and feeling so blessed and happy.
On our return home my new friend exclaimed and we had to stop to take photos of the most beautiful magical rainbow I've ever seen.
7
We chatted and I explained that I do healing work with people to initiate their own body to access and use resources within to heal them.
The magic of that meeting, her willinness to take me to where I could continue on with my journey and our exchange of information was truly beautiful and I had not slept for days for longer than an hour or two so fairly rapidly after a nap and another in Friday night traffic meant I eventually ended up at another services this time on the M42 above Manchester and then planned a route from there to the monastery for the meditation weekend that had brought me home from Spain I the first place. As I walked and listened I learnt how to comport myself in a strange place.
Hearing within the guidance to walk on the outside of the pavement how to be dressed how to hold myself how to be and act.
All the while not knowing where I was but where I was going checking the maps on buss tops from time to time walking and learning and traversing a new city as I made me way with tiredness following me but a sense of adventure nonetheless and always a need to respect the environment and myself and others.
So I finally got to an area I knew a lttle and because I was choosing to trust the guidance I received i also wanted to prove to myself that I could walk up to a place I had been before also. I got to Heaven on Earth the Space. Walking around not knowing where the monastery was I asked a guy having a smoke in his doorstep and his girlfriend told him to tell me where he area of Gorton was. Ajacent to where I was and so I kept on going. Past a club with a lot of people milling around outside a little fearful of the area and people.
Drive on keep on going you can do it I heard.
Always facing the fact that I have a positive inner dialogue these days along with a need to accept those parts of myself some deny exist.
I found the monastey nestled in a housing estate with new looking houses and high value modern cars so I took myself to a bus top and fell asleep sat with my rucksack and things.
Waking up I waited until hey opened the gates and sat on a bench to wait until everyone else came to the event.
I slept through the meditations for the most part and lunchime came around. I had no money and was gifted a banana and tried to see if anyone would take pity on me further.
All I had to give were crystals I had found and brought with me from my travels so I gave them to the people sat on my table and by the end of the weekend I had given almost all of them away and experienced the Joy of meeting new people being offered a little something here and there doin some healing only to receive some surprisingly from an older gentleman called Roger and generally being muh more myself after having asked and been offered a place to stay at a flat with someone I barely knew all the while being dared to do things that have terrified me all of my life.
Askin for what I need. Facing possible rejection. Ignoring thoughts of failure.
Being able and willing to be better and succeed where before there was only ever anxiety and dread. Living life based on a reduced need for things like food and only what I had with me.
By the second day well rested although we had stayed up very late or early depending on your point of view ;) it came to the end of the day and I had nowhere to go but home finally for the first time in over a month and needing a lift a woman I had met also required a ride home, one of the people I had got to speak to because of the gift of amethysts and shared experience of the weekend. So I asked Roger if he knew of anyone going south for this woman. It would be great if there was room for two but she was more important to my mind because she had further to go and I was brought up to respect and honour women children before myself. There was! Not only that but room for me aswell yes what a day.
So chatting as we headed home lead to a meeting in Glastonbury the following week and a walk up to the tor, collecting some spring water and seein a chap whose face I knew from somewhere and my new friend was only too happy for me to go and discover where and how and why I recognised this homeless man.
We had met it transpired on the high treet in the town on New Years Eve when he had just gotten back from Spain and I was going to a party in the Assembly rooms to meet friends.
So as we caught up it turned out that he was going back to Spain in a few weeks time. To the same area I had just left. To the same village and to the very same beach I had just been living on for the past several weeks!
Incredible amazin wonderful synchronicity!
So that was a catalyst for me to choose a flight close to his knowing I will have someone who knows the area well on my return and more than that he's been to the communities I would like to visit over there and our future was set.
Bumped into someone from Birmingham who had been to the meditaton weekend who was house sitting just outside the town after that.
I was havin difficulty keeping the biggest grin from my face and feeling so blessed and happy.
On our return home my new friend exclaimed and we had to stop to take photos of the most beautiful magical rainbow I've ever seen.
Quoting then retelling a tale of womanity
A piece written by Jill Kiefer from a book gifted to me by a friend, entitled 'The Spirit That Wants Me A New Mexico Anthology'.
The paths I now follow in my life and work invite me to explore that spree of felings, frolic and ideas which serves to continually remind me of what else is out there. It's a DETOUR from the present ROUTE of so many which, though often impressive, does get backed up with traffic and is heavily controlled. While there is, undoubtedly, potential to cover many miles in the traditions of FULL SPEED AHEAD and EXPRESS LANES ONLY, interstates also impose the rules of NO CHANGING LANES, NO STOPPING and NO PASSING. Their language is established and impersonal their construction, inflexible. The EXITS from those choices are few and far between. For all of the expediency which those ROUTES attempt to provide, I can only move forward in certain areas by taking back roads. Perhaps it is the difference between travel and journey. The journey may take a bit longer but the occasional CURVEIN the road leads to the adventures which, when added up, result in life. My life is articulated here in New Mexico--the Land of Back Roads.
I was following my own back roads which lead me to a group meditation in Manchester and a building called Francis Gorton Monastery. How I got there is the journey from Spain to Birmingham airport and a walk of a dozen miles or so with backpack and all my belongings into the city entre. Roaming around to see at 4am the revellers passing back home from a night out because like so many towns and cities there is a large population of students living and possibly studying there ;) So I find myself alone as so often in life amongst many strangers in a strange place adventurng finding new sights and sounds to be exciting despite the tiredness the aches and pains the feeling of being alone is an Energy of creation and exploration for me. New experiences drive me to leave behind the familiar the habits and routines if a life lived within television schedules or the Monday to Friday nine to five that so many need to earn themselves a place to live and shelter and feel safe. The security of that way of being is obvious but anathma to my spirit.
I saw a lot of the town from the architecture to the mass of building work being undertaken to the fact that as usual everything I would like to have visited or taken advantage of like the mseum or library were closed at least until 11am long after I wished to be much further north and far too long to stay in one place for.
I worked out a plan to go to the services at Frankley and headed in the general direction by following the path of the sun what I hoped was south and west havin come from the south and east of the city. So a long way to walk as there was another seven miles of trudging to do yet along the canal path past industrial and university campuses and old and new places along the way. Asking for directions from people who are unused to walking anywhere.
They find it hard to believe that I might choose to walk a few miles. "Oh you're a long way from there that's your general direction'. Ask the lad in the white helmet he's from that area.
He isn't or doesn't and only says a few words encouraging at least and the canal beckons me.
Dropping down away from roads to follow waterways and relax and try not to rush on.
Relax as much as you can. Your speed is good speed comes to mind which I saw as a yellow graffiti on a concrete pillar somewhere in spain whilst on the road to Santiago de Compostela. Tiredness is a choice physically mentally you can usually achieve much more than you think you can and just keep on going.
Eventually I reach a village and directions for the services. It seems a lot more than seven miles and snow on the side of getting road soothes my by now hot and blistered feet.
Swollen and sore wet bottoms allowing the rot to set in as the skin seems more like its been in a bath for days underwater socks stinking.
So I stand barefoot in the last snow and collect some in the box of the chips I bought back there. Finally managing to painfully walk the last few hundred yards to Frankley service station by going south when I mean to arrive north and Manchester as my final destination.
Charging my phone resting my feet all whilst trying not to offend with my look of tramp and homeless person torn trousers where badly patched holes have been rerevealed and coat that once was almost brand new saved from bonfire with only a tiny hole in the lining of one pocket repaired made it a welcome addition to my wardrobe faithful trusty fluffy Duffy duffle coat with furry hood intact with slightly ragged edges to the cuffs from wear.
So I fill my water bottle even though I'm more used to having a car and the freedom that brings to go and collect sprig water regularly and grateful for at least a little while to sit in a coffee shop plugged into their power outlet with WiFi to reconnect with the world at large.
They refill my bottle again before I leave even though I've made no purchase and I leave to go and hitchhike for the first time ever in my life.
It goes well considering I'm stood there with a sign that says FREE HUGS for only a few minutes and what must be the twentieth vehicle only too. Bemused car drivers and passengers listning to advce about which side of the road to stand and how near or far from the junction my ride is a woman from Poland who lives here and has only been driving on the left for six months who works for the food industry by cutting open meat animals to see if they are fit for human consumption officially.
The paths I now follow in my life and work invite me to explore that spree of felings, frolic and ideas which serves to continually remind me of what else is out there. It's a DETOUR from the present ROUTE of so many which, though often impressive, does get backed up with traffic and is heavily controlled. While there is, undoubtedly, potential to cover many miles in the traditions of FULL SPEED AHEAD and EXPRESS LANES ONLY, interstates also impose the rules of NO CHANGING LANES, NO STOPPING and NO PASSING. Their language is established and impersonal their construction, inflexible. The EXITS from those choices are few and far between. For all of the expediency which those ROUTES attempt to provide, I can only move forward in certain areas by taking back roads. Perhaps it is the difference between travel and journey. The journey may take a bit longer but the occasional CURVEIN the road leads to the adventures which, when added up, result in life. My life is articulated here in New Mexico--the Land of Back Roads.
I was following my own back roads which lead me to a group meditation in Manchester and a building called Francis Gorton Monastery. How I got there is the journey from Spain to Birmingham airport and a walk of a dozen miles or so with backpack and all my belongings into the city entre. Roaming around to see at 4am the revellers passing back home from a night out because like so many towns and cities there is a large population of students living and possibly studying there ;) So I find myself alone as so often in life amongst many strangers in a strange place adventurng finding new sights and sounds to be exciting despite the tiredness the aches and pains the feeling of being alone is an Energy of creation and exploration for me. New experiences drive me to leave behind the familiar the habits and routines if a life lived within television schedules or the Monday to Friday nine to five that so many need to earn themselves a place to live and shelter and feel safe. The security of that way of being is obvious but anathma to my spirit.
I saw a lot of the town from the architecture to the mass of building work being undertaken to the fact that as usual everything I would like to have visited or taken advantage of like the mseum or library were closed at least until 11am long after I wished to be much further north and far too long to stay in one place for.
I worked out a plan to go to the services at Frankley and headed in the general direction by following the path of the sun what I hoped was south and west havin come from the south and east of the city. So a long way to walk as there was another seven miles of trudging to do yet along the canal path past industrial and university campuses and old and new places along the way. Asking for directions from people who are unused to walking anywhere.
They find it hard to believe that I might choose to walk a few miles. "Oh you're a long way from there that's your general direction'. Ask the lad in the white helmet he's from that area.
He isn't or doesn't and only says a few words encouraging at least and the canal beckons me.
Dropping down away from roads to follow waterways and relax and try not to rush on.
Relax as much as you can. Your speed is good speed comes to mind which I saw as a yellow graffiti on a concrete pillar somewhere in spain whilst on the road to Santiago de Compostela. Tiredness is a choice physically mentally you can usually achieve much more than you think you can and just keep on going.
Eventually I reach a village and directions for the services. It seems a lot more than seven miles and snow on the side of getting road soothes my by now hot and blistered feet.
Swollen and sore wet bottoms allowing the rot to set in as the skin seems more like its been in a bath for days underwater socks stinking.
So I stand barefoot in the last snow and collect some in the box of the chips I bought back there. Finally managing to painfully walk the last few hundred yards to Frankley service station by going south when I mean to arrive north and Manchester as my final destination.
Charging my phone resting my feet all whilst trying not to offend with my look of tramp and homeless person torn trousers where badly patched holes have been rerevealed and coat that once was almost brand new saved from bonfire with only a tiny hole in the lining of one pocket repaired made it a welcome addition to my wardrobe faithful trusty fluffy Duffy duffle coat with furry hood intact with slightly ragged edges to the cuffs from wear.
So I fill my water bottle even though I'm more used to having a car and the freedom that brings to go and collect sprig water regularly and grateful for at least a little while to sit in a coffee shop plugged into their power outlet with WiFi to reconnect with the world at large.
They refill my bottle again before I leave even though I've made no purchase and I leave to go and hitchhike for the first time ever in my life.
It goes well considering I'm stood there with a sign that says FREE HUGS for only a few minutes and what must be the twentieth vehicle only too. Bemused car drivers and passengers listning to advce about which side of the road to stand and how near or far from the junction my ride is a woman from Poland who lives here and has only been driving on the left for six months who works for the food industry by cutting open meat animals to see if they are fit for human consumption officially.
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