So I had an experience at the weekend...

I was sat there, I did what I said I would, there was some murmurs of are you sure?

I answered quite truthfully that I was and went ahead.  A few minutes later and wham!

We were all connected so deeply that all I could do was hang on, breath slow and deep.

We were connected so deeply that I could feel your emotions, I could tell how you felt.

I could feel your opinions, like our body language had become an instinctive exchange.

I knew that everything would go the way I wanted it to, but baulked at the power.

I don't want to say how things go, we're all in this together, it's your choice too.

So I just let the lessons flood over me, the energy, the relaxation, the pulse.

I have to relax and let go of my fears, my expectations and just be.

So I do, and I see the process, I see the lesson, I learn it.

I feel the lesson work its way into my very cells.

Then another and another as they loop.

Much quicker than before this time.

Yes it only takes a little while.

I know what you're going to say, not the words, but the feeling behind it, and yes the words spring from there like the crisp clear water from a fountain, washing over me, energising my being, making so much sense.  We are one, you are my brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and cousins.  My family.

I could have anything I want, but I just want more experience, I don't let my own desires take over.

Would like to feel like this forever, far less than before I am interrupted by the dark shadows.

When they come I merely go within, find the golden spark, focus on love and they're gone.

Can see the process again, the fact that love is a signal, a carrier wave, the destination.

A golden rope of many threads, all knots undone, one fine line beginning to end.

A way for us to transcend this repeating performance, I have lived every life.

Been every person, in every time, in every place, that's what we do.

We come here to experience every part of the great recording.

It's been running for so long, in perfect clarity, definition.

Over and over, as we jump from chapter to chapter.

Life after life, only able to leave once we get it.

I wanted to make everyone happy, some weird glasses were put on my head.  They had clear kaleidoscope lenses, reminding me of a school trip to Oxford, I love them as they suit my autistic spectrum, all the colours.

I start to feel all my senses group together into one synaesthesiac dream, a worldview based on connection.

The way I can describe it is as if I am experiencing the way things truly are not a sad reflection of a second.

Not a copy, or a rerun now, the way is clear.  Focus on love, it's transformational healing power and extend.

Grow into the perfect representation of what lies beneath the thin veneer we call reality.  There's more here.

If it's a lie it's a comforting one, everyone is my family, my loved ones.  I'm finally at home in a strange place.

It can't get any better than this for me, and in a way that's telling me what I must do when I die.

I have to focus on love, that golden bombastic sound, the phat ladies voice bursts forth.

Everything is shattered and broken except the song of ages, a throughline, an anchor.

Wherever this journey takes us, it's the obvious next step, the next destination.

If we want to and we do, and we don't fear it, which we don't, we are love.

We become what saves us, what carries on, what allows us to proceed.

We are love, are one, aspects of a greater whole, the sum of its parts.

We come together in friendship, in respect of our pasts and futures.

All sins forgiven and forgotten as we go to a fresh new dawn.

The light is so brilliant and the shadows are stricken.

When I close my eyes, the golden light is there.

When I'm scared I go to find the love.

Within me, ready to burst out.

To engulf the world like a fire.

To rise from the ashes anew.

The newest creation of life.

We will leave this place.

Together not alone.

Singing the song.

Of ages past.

Love
Jon
x

From Here I Can See Eternity...

The view has changed, I can see more, clearly more, more clearly.

I felt the space within my head grow, like there was more room.

I'm not very good at asking for what I want, what I need.

I don't like rejection any more than anyone else.

I haven't practised it, only when I had to.

When I needed a new job, new life.

When it comes to urgent circumstances, I can do anything, have done many things.

I've travelled alone in a strange country, with nothing but my wits and some training.

It was invigorating, amazing, life affirming, it took my limits and said fuck you, grow.

Change, live, breath calmly and deeply now that you've grown within and explored.

The lines you had drawn in the sand are gone, what you thought was merely dreams.

What you dreamed, so much more than you imagined was ever possible, came true.

I travelled home, those I'd missed I met again almost for the first time & those others.

Were gone forever, and they're not even thought of except with regret and sympathy.

When it came to it, I did the right thing.

When I felt the change in me, I grew.

I'm still growing and learning daily.

Still trying to ask for what I need.

Still yearning to love unconditionally.

To keep on breathing out my fears.

Keep on breathing in my courage.

Keep on breathing, keep on and,

find the solution to my dreams.

Which is to awaken finally.

To our common goals.

Unity.Peace.Love.

We are one.

Love
Jon
x

 Step by step I progress

The Way is in my heart

I was not yet in love, and I loved to be in love

We're there already...

I remember reading somewhere, bloody b key has stopped working, so every time I want a b I have to paste one in, so excuse me if from time to time I miss one out, cos I can't be 'othered...  I was reading or watching a video about how you could increase your chances of getting what you want.  Or perhaps I should say be careful what you wish for.  Last night we were talking about how it's so easy for someone to maintain a certain state of being, let's say a depressed person listens to depressive music, you are listening to the tunes that your mood has made you want to listen to.  However what that tends to mean is that, if you continue to listen to that music, you are setting your intention,  setting a precedent, saying to the future "Hey I'm miserable now, don't give me any less than misery from now on"...  whilst I continue this mood, looping from what i do to how I feel.  'Cos I've kinda got used to these emotions, these habitual responses to what life throws at me.  My mind, my chemical imbalances work better this way ;)  I'm happy being miserable...

Instead of perpetuating this record, this program, when you're upset you need to listen to something uplifting, something that brightens your day.  Don't let how you feel drive what you think or how you act.

To get what you want, be careful what you wish for, this video and the speakers within it suggested that you should let's say for arguments sake, you want to win the lottery, the idea was to imagine not that you have just won it, don't just imagine what you'd spend it on, but actually get into the feeling itself.

Feel how it would feel to have that freedom, to have that money to feel like you can do anything you want with your life from now on.  How it would feel to run down the road whooping and celebrating.

I think anyone who dreams of winning the lottery is kidding themselves, but if you really want something that badly, and you actually buy a ticket, you have a chance, the odds are slim, but not impossible.

The hard part is that lots of other people buy a ticket, lots of them also really desperately want to win it too.

Am I saying that it's the person who wants to win it the most that does so?  No I don't think I am.

Although...  I know that many of us think we must carry on into the future with whatever we have to deal with now, that there's no going back, which there isn't obviously, until the LHC (that huge sciencey ring thing in europe to do with strange particles and stuff and huggs bosoms?) creates a time portal and we can actually get a do over...  Anyway I'm digressing and distressing myself with the possibility of changing my past.

While there isn't any going back, close the door to the past in your minds eye, there is going forward.

We are all headed there, but like the saying goes, by the time you get to tomorrow it's today and tomorrow is still out there somewhere... That isn't a saying, I just made it up, I sayinged it...  We can all have hope.

It's why we don't do new things any more, why we've stopped trying to change what we see as our lot in life, why we don't expect anything but what came before, we've had enough disappointment in the past.

Why not try it for something small?  Something that could easily happen but that at the moment seems so unlikely,  why not make it something that you can try out this theory on?  Are you in perfect health?

It would be easy to feel happy, healthy, content.  We know what that feels like.  We could say I would like to feel the way I felt before, when I was younger, more vital, only I want to feel like this in the future, but I'm going to express that desire in the now.  I'm going to feel it now, I am free of the pain, free of it now.

So you are drawing together a whole host of feelings, based on the experiences of the past and the desire to feel what you would like to feel right now and from then on.  Make the future exist in the here and now.

Soak that feeling up, let it take over your entire body, feel your pain recede?  Feel you energy grow?

Imagine that you are entirely healthy, pretend, that's how we make believe, we did it as children.

Don't you remember how real it felt to play games?  The imagined worlds we created...

The characters, the situations, the colours, shapes, sounds, textures, places...

We built entire galaxies of possibilities in our minds, in our hearts.

They were real then and they can be real now.

All it takes is pretending and acting it out.

We still play if we've got any sense.

Joking and laughing is playing.

We need to do it again.

Need to feel it now.

Live it now.

be it now.

Love
Jon
x

Time to Choose - Not for Profit -

Time

Slows down when you want it to, when you're not marking it, watching it, passing it or killing it.

Make it last whenever you feel like it, internally, let it expand, make use of every moment and the spaces between those moments, until it becomes more than just the ticking of a clock, it becomes a series of smaller and tinier instants, a silent movie slide show of the briefest encounters betwixt you and eternity.

And if you're really lucky, between you, someone you have a beautiful connection with and eternity ;)

Was playing with tantra the other day, just with some new friends at an after party.  I said holdout your hands, and both of mine reached out to two of yours, I kept mine still, yours approached, you felt it.

Then you closed your eyes and I energised you.  I may have let my hands hover over your sex.  No wonder you went to sleep, I have that effect on women ;)  Or it may have been the massaging and sleep deprivation.

Some native americans greeted each other with a raised palm, that's a tantric gesture of peace, offering friendship, allowing two people to enter into each others personal space and energy fields.

The basis of my relationships is friendship, trust and honesty.

I'm glad that we're all mates.

What's your hurry?

Slow down.

Feel time.

-

Choices

Life is a series of them.  Temptations, instincts.  Choices lead us down one path or another.

Murderers.  Saints.  They chose to go one way consistently.

Choose life, yours and those of the people you know.

Make your own mark, make your own decisions.

We are connected, you will affect others.

By effecting changes to yourself...

-

Not for Profit

Profit is something that a company goes after, to reward shareholders and in turn the people who own shares look forward to a retirement, when they can do what they want with the money they have earned from gambling on the performance of a business,who ultimately unless highly ethical, has no other aim than to make money and pass it up to the bods at the top of the pile.  Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall.

That wall is the economy, and no-one could put it back together, or will they, or should they.

It doesn'y serve the best interests of those who stand to gain the most or the least.

Profit isn't a measure of how to succeed in life, for now or for the future.

It merely stands for pieces of paper and electronic funds.

You deserve to be looked after in your old age.

Not looking to it as something to save for.

Profit is destroying everything.

Our hospitals don't put patient care first, nurse numbers are dangerously low.

Universities are having their campuses privatised so that they can be run for profit?

So that the students can leave in more and more debt and have to continue this system.

It's all wrong, it's not good and it's going to stop soon.  We will see the obvious white elephant.

It's in the room, on the streets, it's easy to ignore because unless someone annoying like me keeps...

ON REMINDING YOU, you can just get drunk, you can just watch t.v. you can just vegitate and rot.

I am going to keep being annoying as long as you'll have me ;)

But even I know, that I must just get on with myself first.

Everyone else needs to do that job for themselves.

I can't be everywhere, do everything, we are.

We are everywhere, we are everything.

When we see that, it's already over.

I hope so anyway...

Love
Jon
x