Epic Song

Faith No More

Just Love

S'all

Gonna stream out the txts off my phone from today and just let ya rip my rap

...is caught in an upward spiral

Favourite Game

When you're playing your favourite game you don't mind giving up your last life to anyone even a stranger. (or an aquaintance, I'm thinking war games, arcade scene ;) ) You do it because you can, you know you can always pick up later on and enjoy working your way back through the levels, enjoy the problems youve solved before because you vaguely remember how to solve some of them and then find everyone else either having completed it, stuck on the last level, or variously spread out over the course of the gameplay.

The time to party is after you've been good. Healthy, Happy, Hard Working but passionately.

Then you can celebrate with a big confessional with all your friends and the great mother.

She'll take on board your concerns and reassure you, also give you a talking to if needed.

Then it's off to party like it's going out of fashion.

And you deserve a good time.

A messy one but a good one.

Cos you've been good,

GRACE HOPE CHARITY

Grace to accept things
Hope like a yawn catching
Charity to give willingly

i suppose i feel like i am an older brother energy, I go first everyone else gets things earlier than I did and can learn from my mistakes, and the only consolation which is a good one is I get an early bath... if only i had started taking my own advice sooner and more often ;( ;)

when all the 'vehicles' can fly, can we have the land back for walking on...?

There is nothing that you cannot be forgiven for, once i knew that nature and myself were capable of anything I had to accept that so was anyone else. She forgave me, she'll forgive you.
But more imprtantly you'll forgive yourself first. Love yourself first. Trust yourself first.

Then turn your attention elsewhere ;) x

I bet they're laughing upstairs whenever I visualise raining down a bright yellow energy over everyone at the start and bathing them in it during a party... cos to them upstairs it must look like a golden shower.

I dont think you realise how unused I am to asking for what I need and so rarely getting it. ;) x thankyou

Dislikes intently talking about myself unless youve managed to get past my awkwardness with strangers (going funnily enough) and found my passions cos i will go on about them. Im hoping rapping all this stuff out and up in a web of energy on here will mean it'll be filtering out and I can have a rest and just ask you questions about your life, collect some new story ideas, and just be...
Careful though because if I find that I enjoy your company we may be spending a lot of time together once everything settles down, i havent had a life so its been a while since i started to have one and didnt shy away / run away and try to have my quiet life back. Ill find a happy medium, oops i am one, or a conduit as i like to call myself... sounds more sci fi futuristic ;) x

Do you always need a thankyou or are you just doing what you're doing for it?
When sum1 doesnt thankyou when they should have, it isnt always and hardly ever for the reason that you think. Others dont know what frustrates us cos it doesnt bother them in the slightest or theyd have done something about it. lol we're so funny cos we behave as though everyone is mind readers but they arent because we dont all believe it. I cant read minds dont worry, i can see what you mean, and thats only when you want me to, as in a conversation ;) x
it feels so good to do the right thing that its addictive and that leads to more capacity for goodness which leads for greater good deeds and greater love in return not thanks

DONT EVER TURN UP AT OUR PLACE UNANNOUNCED OR UNINVITED
Not unless you've got bollocks of steel or tits of titanium, do so at your own risk because I do not thank people for doing that. It's Just Plain Rude! It's a boundary of mine that I will forgive dependent and in a perfect ratio of the golden mean to how pissy I am and how in need you are.

If you want sumthing you're likely to get short shrift. After all I might be sunbathing naked or whatever, yes I do that and my mates used to rock up on push bikes silently and get the shock of their life ;) When I say something like this people get scared but im not used to setting boundaries and when I do I sound sterner than I am, more certain and sure but I mean it just not like you'll be killed, just like you'll be hugged given food and warmth and drink and be sent packing after a few hours... that kind of welcome for people who think it's ok to just rock up at a spiritual place and but in. Not thinking enough of others or yourself is the problem in the first place though, so perhaps as usual I have come full circle in thinking and writing and decided that those people need the most help. So come on and come all! NO DONT KIDDING I HAVE TO RESPECT MY ELDERS AND MY BETTERS AND MY PARENTS AND MY FAMILY AND MY LANDLORD AND MY VILLAGE hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

once youve bared your sould and freed your mind what constraints are left?

the only evil or darkness ive experienced and fought was strangely familiar, the more i meet it the less it has any power over me, i tell it you know my answer, its no and im getting a little bored of your shenanigans, theyre old tired and not working whatever you do because i would always rather die once and go nowhere than live forever anywhere you're going to...

which by the way, being that it's a part of each of us, the temptation to be darker than we are light, the balancing of our own scales of justice within, from ying to yang to the line between where it's safe... BORDERLINE! madonna isnt all bad then. We cant reach the areas we want and need to that contain the information we would like to see, because a line in the sand between us and it was drawn in our minds when we grew bigger but not up and out. Learn to let go of your boundaries and in the words of the song,, "I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles"

anyone who thinks conspiracy theories are valid does so because they allow us to guess rather than know what is going on. I know now but even though i do know the system and its rules, i dont know its final episode, just a few plotlines, some random pics released from production and that once it comes together it's gonna be something special defiantly and definitely cos we've past the point of no return whichever way we look at it as indivisuals.... (freud would be pissed to know that he only gets mentioned when someone makes a typo or a mental error) ;) yes i think he is now actually, .....individuals even and as the groups we associate with that control us more than we think (we let them).

The anticipation is building for this like no other... some people have been looking away because they think it's not for them, like a very attractive person that you find just dreamy but dont think youve got a hope in hell with. Check my words.... read them slower read each word in turn, understand their meanings. look up old sayings and phrases and see if they have new meanings to you. I keep revisiting old things and visiting new things and i cant help but find my dreams coming true when i do xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shouldnt you let them decide that?

The attractor has been playing a giant game of steal or share. We've been stealing all the time somewhere on the planet. Now it's getting to the point that so many people will be sharing, current situations causing a resurgence in tribal values, the rest will either have to because of circumstances or die off. It's that simple. Get busy dying or get busy living.

Easy enough choice once you havent got any other option but to pick one.

Manners really do get you everywhere like a cheat sheet
(and then when all else fails go to the mattresses)
But only in self defence.

Light and Love and Language
Jon
x

Look it up, the mattresses were gathered together from 15C Italy onwards in times of war you protect yourself with mattresses. MATTRESS FIGHT!!!!

69

My Blog has become more of a treasured piece of work in its own right now.

My weeks are becoming like this and so I'm living it not thinking or writing.

Creating little snippets, spending time variously, keeping busily entertained.

Party fri-sat-sunday-Recover mon-tues-wednesday-Work wed-thurs-fri Play fri-sat-sunday-Repeat mon-tues-wed... etc etc

I guess that's how it will be we will create what we do and what we do will be available to all.

Living and moving from one loop to another, experiencing them while we're there at all.

Rambling, scrabbling out a place for everything and everything in its place for everyone.

There's a mess that we need to clean up and after that we'll all need an early bath.

Lots of fun after the big celebration of our similarities and then it's off to celebrate.

Our differences for eternity. Noticing the precious moments. enjoying experiencing.

Love
Jon
x

Shy and retiring

I was shy as a kid, given what I know now, that my empathic abilities meant that I was always putting myself in other people's shoes and finding that uncomfortable to say the least, perhaps it's not surprising that I was always avoiding contact with new people and even with knew people ;)

I have always had strong close friendships, more often than not with women rather than men (girls over boys).

This is usually down to the fact that although I have had close male friends, they haven't been able to open up to me as easily as my female accomplices, although not in all cases, or circumstances...

Afterall give a loke enough drink and he'll turn all sorts of things erm around in his head and weakness arises

We have een taught for far too long bbbbbbb (b key comes off occasionally, deleted them the first time and put them back again bbbbbugger, ok hitting it enough times puts it straight back in it's place...

Hmm that gives me an idea ;)

Those close friendships have often been very close and the relationships had to be maintained well otherwise when I would think of the person involved I would get very nervous anxious even decide to stay away rather than face how scared I felt about just getting into a room with them, what will I say?

The rejection that I have felt many many times in my own life also informs that situation, but as I have discovered, those things that I have suffered are now in my data store for virus removal from others.

So now I'm suggesting, and I'm also getting very confident or just not caring about those fears any more, that when I was thinking about you (whoever you were) that I was tapping into your (possibly / probably  unconcious) fears and then that was what was altering my brain state until I couldn't act let alone react.

That leads me to wonder if not realise that when I was thinking about meeting up with you, I got really anxious and nervous because I was putting myself in your shoes and your headspace in mine, wodnering what on earth we would talk about, would it be really uncomfortable, but as you know I always put you at ease because I know how it feels to be dis-eased...  de-pressed...  de-bullied... de-loved...

All virus definitions now in my data store ready for you to open up and let me wipe it from yours for good.

Guessing that's why I'm such a good listener but recently find myself getting bored if you don't quickly get to the point that I already know you're trying to reach, or if you insist on lying to yourself first and then me ;)

BE STRAIGHT WITH ME AS I AM WITH YOU 

OR YOU'LL BE BYE-STORY NOT HI-STORY

Now I am closer to associating myself with the forces of death that sent me here in order to heal
Ready to face my own issues and heal yours or more to the point take a third person perspective
Which allows you to lighten your load permanently after a magical reprogramming of your self and

I was just thinking about the fact that once you start believing that anything is possible...
Almost anything is and the sky is truly the limit.

Anyone reading this who may be involved with the Tribe of Frog Eleventh Birthday Party:-
I would like to bless and magically prepare Lakota for you on Saturday night
So I'm going to arrive nice and early and whether you let me in
Or I just wait until we all get let loose on the place
Gonna spend a few whiles spelling out
What we all want to see in
Language
Light &
Love
Jon
x

P.s. no sympathy please as by this point I've been a virgin again for almost 18 years (if I'd been in a relationship with someone normal I'd have made you miserable like I was so I don't regret a thing as with every other decision I've ever made.  Oh and sympathy is just a way to make someone feel even worse about themselves when I don't so keep it to yourself, unless you're feeling sorry for yourself, in which case I'll try not to think about you so that you invade my headspace with your issues before I'm ready ;)
 
But I haven't had a snog in a couple either so I'm gonna be on the lookout for any women with low morals or standards and avoiding them at all costs in the hope that there's one or two good ones that like me too ;)

I didn't want to make love with someone I didn't love and that's all you're getting out of me on this...

You don't miss what you've rarely had, especially if it's been a long time ahem er coming ;)

I've started so I'll finish

There's a growing minority that are the thickening end of the wedge, stuffed further and further under the door gradually more and more open until it bursts off it's hinges and is forced out of the way.  There's a great attractor out there somewhere, our higher selves and that minority group tunnelling towards each other through hyperspace and as the thin end of that wedge gets thicker the space between us, the finite crawlspace is changing from a small air duct to a massive passageway.

The resistance to spiritual growth, development and transformation within us comes from the fact that once we connect with our higher selves they're constantly on our cases to improve until we eventually become them.  Think about it like this, if you were sitting around at the end of time and all the rest of this bollocks on cloud 9 it would be easy to get impatient for your latest and possibly last incarnation to setoff to meet you.

Also as I've always thought but now believe beyond a shadow of a doubt, everything happens for a reason.

I'm now convinced that the reason is good, even if some of the traits being displayed do not look like it.

We are capable of bad deeds but we are ultimately good, good enough anyway to get by until something better comes along.

I do things to other people that they do to me, unnecessary things, impatient or frankly rude things, driving like a wally but always getting more annoyed at them than at me for the same things.  Yet it is only myself that I can control, so why don't I get more upset with myself given that I'm the only one whose behaviour I can alter?  Sure you can advise or tell someone what to do or how to act but it's still up to them.

As Obelix of Asterix fame would say about the Romans...  Those Humans are crazy!!!

When we're being authentically us, the golden nugget of who we are deep inside, without fear we are neither sane or insane by the definitions provided today, but a balance of those two concepts is where we reside when finding equilibrium...

What is going to tell in the end is the number of people saying undoubtedly strange things.  I am including me in that of course and given that I know a lot of what I've been saying over the past few years, and over my entire life if I'm honest, can come across peoples cynical streak.  I mean what I say even if it's an ideal that I'm trying to reach.

As I write things in my blog, they start to come true even if they weren't entirely at the time...

I am creating my own life from the perspective that I am capable of doing so and altering the world around me to suit.  Everyone else seems to be getting into the same mindset gradually but it'll most likely get to one of those points of no return from which we all may fear the outcome but need to go through with it.  We are gradually bootstrapping others and spreading this ease as an antidote to all the dis-ease in this place.

That pivotal time will result in everyone else joining us cos they've realised they can't beat us...

There is no them and us, only us and us and the sooner we see that and start behaving that way, i.e. seeing the ones who aren't yet on the same page as our brothers and sisters who are merely a couple of steps behind, rather than looking down on them.  Feel for them, don't shut them out.  Think about how great it would be if all the people in your life were finally ready to wake up and get on with the happy work of cleaning up our act and moving on.  Imagine it, and wonder how you'd feel, imagine how you'd feel.

Put yourself in any imaginary situation and you send out a mental behaviour change request form to the office of intergalactic spiritual trading standards.  They then go over it with a fine tooth comb, however your intention is paramount so finish with the last words on the page saying 'This is what I would like to happen so shall it be'.

The rest is up to them, sorry, US...

Things are going to have to get a lot worse for 'themus', for 'themus' to get to rock bottom and reach out or just get attracted to us because of how happy we are these days, how centered, at peace...

Most don't think they've got a problem but that it is outside of them and will be resolved by someone else.
The rest don't feel like they can ask for help and in both cases the ego is at fault, makes us tit for tat.

He said, she said, he hurt me, she hurt me, I'm gonna hurt them back.

STOP!

Start over, forgive but never forget... well not yet anyway

They always seem to expect everyone else to buck their ideas up, to take part in life in a thouroughly professional manner when deep down we all just want to play.

Remember the difference between a match and a kickabout?
Between performing and jamming?
Creating and selling?

---

I've started so I'll finish

I have struggled to get to sleep at night for many many years, not because of insomnia but actually because just as everything quiets down internally, lots of new things start popping in, great ideas, nice things to do for people, intuitive thinking, problem solving, memories, sometimes it's just that I'm going over and over a situation  that I haven't been able to deal with yet.

I have often found myself trying to find something, anything lol to watch on t.v. and that has meant that on occasion I have watched utter shit!  Once you've started even though you know it's proper bullcrap, the temptation is there to see it through to the finish just in case and maybe more in hope ;) that there's something, even if it's a tiny scene, or part of a conversation, a moment of goodness, truth or beauty cos that's all I need to make it worthwhile...

That's how I see this reality, full of crap but with some decent things worth taking into the future and the program is worth watching till the end to see what happens...

---

No we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy...

I've had no issue to resolve there just took me until recently to realise that it was a good thing ;)

Light &
Love
Jon
x

Ryu Ken

Hands held open wide wrists together at the end of extended forward arms a fire ball is expelled...

When I'm dancing to music with a repetitive baseline beat I focus my attention and physical expression on the beat and let it fill me up rising through me until I let it crash and explode outwards.

I was given the heads up about checking into Reiki as a next step for me to do energy work but was reluctant as I had read and agreed with the sentiment that it wasn't necessary any more.

So, I found a video on Youtube, and figured that it would be a good place to start before trying to get in touch with a couple of people that are aquaintances, I've met a woman and a man.

I sat back and wasn't even initially taking it that seriously but as with everything, as I engaged it suddenly became really powerful and took off, I was holding on at one point breathing slow.

Trying to control the one thing that I can my own reaction to events.  Given that our breath feeds the loop that is our entire existence.  Stop breathing and you die, anything that affects the rythym of the breath can cause anxiety which is also a loop, one which escalates and that's what attempted to occur.

So I did my best to relax and carry on and not give in to the temptation to stop because there was an obvious tension that had to get worse before it could get better, had to be experienced before it could be released.  I kept my faith and held my nerve but not my breath and as I relaxed although I sweated up I realised the physical sensation was the other end of an energetic loop.

I had to let it do its thing and have patience and courage that just because it was strange and uncomfortable, doesnt mean it's not a good thing.  Lots of good things cause us to become a litle uncomfortable at first.  New friends.  New lovers.  New experiences.  New anything...

You wont get so easily upset if you go into a situation setup

Remember one thing, breath slow and deep

The rest is taken care of

Light &
Love
Jon
x

Here ya go if you're feeling brave http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP8YoYWL_rE ;)

The Goddess & I

Whistle a happy tune

Humming.

I keep going to write about things, and then off I go at a tangent.

I had an awful experience recently.  I now see it as the most profoundly positive of my life.

I said I didn't remember anything and it's garbled but what I do remember is....
gone... again...

ok obviously that's not gonna work,  yet, ever, who knows...

um so er yeah it was an awful thing from many perspectives.

From within I was having a pretty standard time

I received confirmation of something that I had always suspected.
This made me cry at first and then very very ecstatically happy.

I know I've made sacrifices.  I know I've done the right thing.

I emphasise that I know my place and it isn't the lowest or the highest.
But it's up there.  I deserve it.  You can't reap what you sow blind.

I ache all over, the cramping not so much, but stress, strain, pain.

I quite like pain now, I appreciate it's communicative nature.
I enjoy expressing it, releasing it, relieving it.

So that's what it's like to lose it for a while.
Well now that I got it back I'm so much more certain that I won't let it go again.
I learn my lessons well.

There was a knotted rope and as I worked out the knots, loops and kinks it became loose before becoming free and then taught once more and stretched out across the infinity of space and time.  A straight line along which we could travel from any point to any other.  All the while everything slides inexorably down a cosmic plughole, anything ironed out slips through, anything causing friction catching on the way...

I'm extraordinarily calm.  I'm less astonished which is good but it also means that you can start to take the unexpected for granted...  Think about that.  Starting to expect the unexpected...

l&l
j
x

The Matrix

.... hello?

I represent an organisation that you may have heard of.  The Matrix.  Rather than what was frankly a huge fake ego boost on the part of human beings to claim that the Matrix was the creation of a computer system which was ultimately the creation of the human race, the Matrix was in existence long before intelligent apes learned how to walk upright.  A network so profound that it connects every part of reality to every other over infinite distances instantaneously.  We've even tried to recreate it with our so called modern technology and the closer we get to achieving this feat the closer we come to realising, no remembering,  that we are already connected.  Sooner rather than later given the exponential pace of change towards connectivity...

James Joyce called it the mama matrix most mysterious

This puzzle may not revolve around a nice solution

but a problem shared is a problem halved


which is why we're all supposed


to be engaged in solving


our little piece


---

You can love too much and you can love too little but you can too love enough...

The Source of all things.
Chaos.
Destrucreation.
Order.
Of sorts.
Life.

I haven't read James Joyce, someone else did though, and they told me the gist.

That's what I'm here for, to work it out for you, and pass on the gist.

But you've got to be willing to make the same brave choices.

There are no shortcuts, no quick fixes, there are actually.

But even they still require courage and fear of failure.

You have to risk losing what you think you want.

To realise what you actually needed all along.

It's a gamble but it's the only game worth playing in town.

The rest will ultimately end up dehumanising you.

The worst you'll manage here is your best.

Once you've got the bad news out.

The good news is in the way.

Light &
Love
Jon
x

Consider Yourself

I was thinking about the word desire.  The roots of the word are de and sire. Of, father...

desire

early 13c., from O.Fr. desirer, from L. desiderare "long for, wish for," original sense perhaps "await what the stars will bring," from the phrase de sidere "from the stars," from sidus (gen. sideris) "heavenly body, star, constellation" (but see consider). Noun sense of

 

Consider... Con. Sider.

 

Origin:
1350–1400; Middle English consideren  (< Anglo-French ) < Latin consīderāre  to examine, equivalent to con- con-  + sīder-  (stem of sīdus ) star-group, sky ( see sidereal) + -āre  infinitive suffix

 

con-
— prefix
	a variant of com-

 

[from Latin com-;  related to cum  with. Although its sense in compounds of Latin derivation is often obscured, it means: together, with, etc ( combine, compile ) ;  similar ( conform ); extremely, completely ( consecrate )] 

 

 Origin:
1625–35;  < Latin sīdere ( us ) of, belonging to the stars ( sīder-,  stem of sīdus  star, constellation + -eus  adj. suffix) + -al¹

 

 I'd like to take you with me but I'm not sure where I'm going, just that I have to and it must be your choice to come or not.  I'll leave the door ajar on my way out and a trail of breadcrumbs down the path.

You'll only find your hidden depths when you go looking for them.

Once you dare to dream they exist they do and you're off.

When I grew up I wanted to be happy that's all.

 

Consider yourself one of the family.

Together we make a tribe.

 

Light &

Love

Jon

x

O Ye Of Little Faith

Before you can have any pride in yourself you need to be able to take criticism.

You need to be tested and the only test you will accept the results of is one you run.

Once you've proved your worth to your self I'm hoping you'll stop feeling the need prove it.

It comes down to trust.  If you trusted yourself you'd stop questioning every decision and commit.

If you were honest.  You would be able to grow but you hold on to too much expectation around events.

You are transparent to me.  If you insist on consistently behaving like a child then I'll treat you as one.

Nothing in this life comes for free.  Get yourself in credit.  Do a good deed.  Test yourself.

But know that sooner or later you are going to have to face the truth, bite bullets.

I witness the ultimate reality check and come out unable to turn a blind eye.

When you are ready in your own way you will too, or else, get lost.

It's nicer to choose your own fate than to have it thrust upon you.

And even if you choose to ignore all the signals you can do so...

You are so powerful that you can convince yourself of anything at all.

If you are unhappy you chose to be, trace the roots of your current situation into a past free of the murk of obfuscation and realise that you are the master of your own destiny, in waiting, because you don't believe it.

I talk myself out of things all the time, that's not happening so much since I started thinking with my heart.

I breath and focus all my energy through my center and find a calm there.  Not a silence, a peace...

I've stopped thinking so much and started feeling with an open heart and an open mind.

The world truly is my oyster and everyone in it a unique pearl to be discovered.

For an adventurer and explorer when the macrocosm has been exhausted.

To find that there are such unexplored depths within the microcosm.

Where my real home is and always was, in the imagination.

A necessary merger that looks like a hostile takeover.  

The only authentic struggle is within you.

Light &

Love

Jon

x

if - 'Jon and everyone sitting in a tree w. i. s. h. i n g '

If you can keep your head while all around are losing theirs...

I finally learned the lesson that Tetris has been trying to teach me since I bought a Gameboy in 1989.  Actually I'm guessing my prized posession was a few years old when I got it then because I couldn't afford things like that until I was working and learning the original way on the Y.T.S.  The Youth Training Scheme sounds today more like the Chav Training Squad but if you can ignore the Chinos and the bad haircut (shoulder length undercut pulled back into  ponytail) I suppose it was.

Tetris on the hardest level (game b, level 9, high 5 where you must make 25 lines to win the game, with the blocks already coming down at a rapid pace and loads of crappy blocks left over lying around the bottom of the screen randomly getting in your way...

Make progress when you can.  Everybody wants to get four lines at once and hear the clarion call.  Sure why not, we all would like to make big leaps every time but fits and starts are what we end up with mostly.

One thing at a time

So 'pas a pas se va luenh'

Step by step I make progress

 

'Jon and everyone sitting in a tree  w.  i.  s.  h.  i n g '

Light &
Love
Jon
x