just been going through an exercise I call remembering the people that I care about now that I'm just beginning to care about them again, I get so caught up in my own shit that often it's months before or until anyone else gets a look in and just been checking and getting teary eyed looking at Thomas's page and Jamie's page...
so in conclusion, as per usual I'm waiting to be 100% which will never be...
as with the past I always assumed a day would come when I was better
when I could think of myself as someone who could be relied upon...
im not sure that's ever been true of anyone though we're all just
rolling from one lovely crises to the next and the best times
are the days inbetween so it doesn't make sense to put
your life on hold until the day when everything is good
perfect even, im a lazy perfectionist i go for it but
in the end go blah meh that'll have to do ok
i wish i could be someone else but then
that would leave them being me and
that's not fair and my inspiration
is back with a vengeance as i
have honestly seen why it
is that i am so flawed
off to see the bore
tomorrow a rare
trip from home
into the world
that i came
to love to
be in
x
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