what is this?

what is this? prides fucking with me...
a what is this kick in didmarton football was whatever you could manage when the ball came at you suddenly from an awkward angle, usually behind you... you deal with it by responding with an upward motion and using the heel of you boot to kick it as close as you can towards or away from the goal... nothing too fancy react quickly and get rid of it or score

so somethings come back from the summer and i have yet to see how it works out, a traffic incident and now it seems like more than that but what is it? well i dont know but i wont worry, just wait and see and clear out all the things within that resonate with how i felt that day, how concerned.

feeling again as though my insides were melting, drawn to my navel
like heavier matter moving faster through a stream of molten lava
inexorably ha long word spelt right first time, i've been slipping
lately i've been slipping forwards and backwards through my
life times, ages i was will be am now mostly and also the
letting go of attachment to my feelings to
the greatest secret no-one told me about or seems to accept is...

what is it? it's energy, we are energy, life is energy, energy is life x
all ive done is let my fingers do the talking and through that letting
go to let things flow my higher aspects hidden in my brain, mind
body, heart especially, and yes spirit, soul, mi corazon y alma
my worst trip was the best being god from the beginning to
the end of time for 8 hours i barely remember anything
i drugged myself (unknown bad morning cocktail)
kidnapped myself and godnapped myself into
ranting and raving quite a bit still dont really
know what i did except that i was playing
cats cradle with the fabric of existence
literally unravelling the timelines the
strings of the universe until there
was just one overiding sound
and picture one string one
timeline one destination
the clarion call of the
divine and golden
love of all of
creation so
let there
be light
when i
type it
comes through me my higher self from wher'ver
it is we're headead
heart centred
devine
divine
love
x