Thursday 31 December 2009

"I Ain't Dissin You At All, Since You've Been Gone... Away" / je ne veux de mal à personne, juste plus d'amour pour tous - Associate With Your Shadow

“I Ain’t Dissin You At All, Since You’ve Been Gone… Away” / I don’t wish harm on any one, just more love for all

I don’t really know what I’m going to write yet, I just liked the title… That should be on my gravestone. I mostly come up with what I think is an amusing play on words and it’s usually subconsciously associated with or bloody obviously linked to whatever is going on or I’m thinking about lately. This case, well the only thing I can think to jot down is that I don’t wish anyone any harm. In fact I wish everyone well. You’re forever changed once you realise that you are a part of them and they a part of you and that goes for the ecosystem, the planet as a whole, the solar system, galaxy, universe (Um yeah, everything in so called existence basically baby!). To wish any living thing harm would be like cutting off my nose to spite my face or slashing my own wrists. As for whether I manage not to have thoughts of an angry, aggressive or even violent nature at times, I don’t entirely, depending on who or what it is that has pissed me off and how badly.

Moe tells Homer, “I’m a well-wisher, in that I don’t wish you any specific harm”. (Go on! Do your own impression of Moe saying that, mine was bollocks but sounded much better in my head, like most things ;-)

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Associate With Your Shadow

I used to howl at the moon, not regularly (I don’t have George’s time of the Month issue from Being Human, as far as I knowwwwwoooooo) although I probably have once or twice because I used to like a good howl when I was younger. There was a long period during which I wasn’t in touch with nature as I had been when I was a kid. This isn’t a sob story I don’t do those, but I was quite lonely at times as a kid because I was painfully shy, like almost autistic shy, and it’s not a situation that’s gone away I just learned to cope with it by being brash and loud. I’ve toned that down as much as I can because I don’t want to be the centre of attention any more for the wrong reasons and because my ego is undergoing a much desired and controlled demolition. I can do the things that I don’t like doing and usually pretty damn well, false confidence starts to look like the real thing and can even become it when you practice often enough.

Sure it was fun to use my natural quick wit in large social groups, which is completely out of my control by the way, I assume it developed over time as a defence mechanism to keep me from having to engage in conversation, I could come out with a one liner and walk off, extricate myself from what I saw as a threat, an inconvenience, ugh communication. Anyway the comedy routine is worked out for me like the solution to a puzzle by my shadow almost instantaneously. Of course, I don’t mean the dark impression that follows us everywhere and re-integrates with us when the lights go out, I’m talking about your shadow mind, the subconscious. The part we are taught to be wary or afraid of, our animal nature, what some might refer to as our true selves but not a part that we should associate with, or try to integrate into what we call ourselves, the me, the I.

I’ve probably annoyed if not confounded many people with the way that I’ve always lived my life. I go with what I feel never what I think I know or the seemingly obvious and logical solution (sorry Spock I gotta go with my gut on this one). If I don’t have the right ‘feeling’ about a situation, party, night out, whatever, I won’t go. I’ve also turned down things based on cowardice or said yes to things based on false bravado and made all sorts of stupid mistakes, done things that I knew at the time were wrong, the wrong choice, the wrong way. One man’s coincidence is another man’s synchronicity. The number of times that things have fallen into place for me in such a sweet way are forgotten but not the instinct and insight that perhaps we are meant to be in that feeling all of the time. Our lives following a natural course. There can be no life without death and a few bumps in the road along the way between the two destinations are unavoidable, they try to knock you off course, it’s so much harder to be good than bad. Bad is so pitifully easy. When did you last hear someone say they’d succumbed to the temptation to do something good?

The subconscious mind is like a symbiotic bio-mechanical nano-technological factory. You put forward the production design specifications. If given a fair following wind, there’s a fifty fifty chance that tomorrow you will wake up in a good mood or a bad mood, what you are communicating to your shadow, the terms and status of your relationship with what is basically the rest of you that you deny, ignore or fill with everything you wish would just go away like bad thoughts, bad memories, bad emotions, what you’re putting in there decides what it spits out in despatch. Listen to moody music all the time and your buddy the shadow tells the physical brain to produce moody bastard chemicals which affect your mood and can affect your health which in turn affects your mood which affects your shadow’s current order list. It will do whatever you want it to, it’s entirely up to you what you want to put out to market. Before you fall asleep, tell it to remember your dreams and write them down as soon as you wake up, reading them back after a month is a shock, after a year a triumph or another shock. Everyone knows some clever clogs who can tell themselves what time to wake up or some such nonsense, that’s the point it isn’t nonsense it works you just have to try. They say that humans only use 10% of their brain capacity, from what I’ve seen I’d say that was being generous (I hope that makes you angry). Maybe we’re just not in touch with the other 90%?

When I’m in nature regularly I get the answers to all my questions, I’m shown the way that I need to proceed or given hope that if I hold on, if I’m willing to be patient things will resolve themselves in due course. When to Fold, when to Call, When to Raise and most importantly of all, WHEN TO HOWL AT THE MOON…

Jon
xXx
Light n Love

diss definition
1. Diss is a town (population 6742 ) in Norfolk, England close to the border with the neighbouring East Anglian county of Suffolk.
2. an insult or put-down; to put (someone) down, or show disrespect by the use of insulting language or dismissive behaviour; for dissertation
3. is an insult to someone, or to insult someone. This hip hop term is an evolved (read shortened) version of “disrespect”

subconscious definition
1. subconscious mind: psychic activity just below the level of awareness
2. The term subconscious is used in many different contexts and has no single or precise definition. This greatly limits its significance as a meaning-bearing concept, and in consequence the word tends to be avoided in academic and scientific settings. (I love that)
3. A mental process which occurs without awareness, or conscious perception on the part of the individual.

associate definition
transitive verb associated -·at′ed, associating -·at′·ing
1. to join together; connect; combine
2. to bring (a person) into relationship with oneself or another as companion, partner, friend
3. to connect in the mind to associate rain with grief

disassociate definition
transitive verb disassociated -·at′ed, disassociating -·at′·ing
1. to sever association with; separate; dissociate

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