spiritual development

as my friends hit 444 and my healer number ends 444 i have decided to write something about my experiences at meditation & spiritual development classes, in circle with a teacher whose a medium we have been developing by doing, creating sacred space and then going on journeys within the mind and outside to connect to spirit, to work to become a better conduit to make a connection to the other side of life, to the higher realms, the astral plane, whatever you wish to call it, last night and again today, and from now on whenever i wish to do so, I can connect to a portal within me, encompassing my connection to the ether and beyond, allowing me to heal myself and others, because i was told i am a conduit between love and life, love being there and life being here, we are living beings being human right now and when we die we will continue to live on as the love that we came from, there, i've said it, like a car crash on the motorway i've become a spectacle, during the period when my spirituality was looking more like mental illness and it was because, i was addicted to drugs, and bad behaviour to numb what was in me, from coming out, and someone very special said that it is best, in fact necessary for us to find out what is inside and get to know ourselves, i am coming to know myself truly for the first time, to be an empath, to feel others pain but rise above it, go beyond mere sympathy, beyond mere empathy to compassion and that is the truest way of being there for someone, to be able to be there, support them and allow them to heal within themselves, to be able to see the light and go towards it now. When we die? That's another matter, but I was lead by the hand by a guide who is a Franciscan monk to meet a being of pure white light whose outline looked familiar, what the divine is for themselves is something we may never have considered but when we see them they take the form of a human being, because we have made god in our image, not the other way around, i felt a great love and continue to do so, i am healing and continue to do so, and offer this connection to others for free on a donation basis, in order to support myself and free my time to be able to pursue the reason for life, to experience what it has to offer those who choose to connect to nature and see themselves to be a part of it all, the world, the cosmos, indeed the life that exists everywhere but looks like stars and other planets, other galaxies, it is all consciousness in one form or another, as is everything we see, and in fact do, so to be a man at all, to be a better man in the process of becoming and finally to become and evolve into whatever it is we are born to be is the life affirming place i find myself in, thankyou :) +