dont drink dont smoke what do you do?

i think there is a very real experience that all human beings can feel when they start to respect and treat themselves better and eat food not products containing all sorts of additives and preservatives and maybe that's just a sense i get because i've been on this trip for a little while now, changing my ways more often than not still going to the cinema and eating pick n mix or the odd pint here and there so not a complete don't drink don't smoke, what do you do yet but it's still apparent that the difference is there, in what you can feel and be when you live the way our ancestors lived, free from the rules that the modern world places upon us, free from too much of the technology that's taking the place of our normal social lives and parts of our brains that no longer have to do their job because cellphones do that for us instead, and yes i may need my head read that's a given i know there are reasons why i sound different and given a chance i always have been somewhat strange so i accept the fact that all this is just a jumble of words placed together and it's all a random commentary on living in the world today, perhaps it would be better for me to just get fucked up on drugs and drink and numb myself again like i used to, or shut up when in company rather than speaking my truth to anyone who will listen, or in this case read, it's yet to be seen what will happen now that we are in free fall, we're free falling, just like the song says, the world is moving beneath us, the e and s in the tescos sign is flickering as the thin veneer of society fails, power cuts, rich richer, poor poorer, nothing new there, just like this new little cold war and world war 2.1 going on right now, bend over, eat your chow and take it up the ass you fucks cos the foxes die when there are no rabbits and we're killing all the life below us, the food chain is in collapse, the species dying off, climate change affecting the poorest so we're still covered in our safety net of media not telling us anything that might shock us into doing some thing different yet, i've got my own issues of finding out that our conciousness is more than merely who we think we are, what we feel is going on, there's more to life than just that, waking and sleeping, there's something inbetween, the imagery and fantasy of random hypnagogic conversations and i hope upon hope that my more often meditations are working, that we are all waking up as a people to what we've done because we've royally been lead by kings and queens to ruining the world for everyone, those we thought were savages, actually had better manners than we do, they didn't kill each other unless absolutely necessary and stayed in balance with their environment because they treasured it and knew what some of us have come to know again and feel in our hearts, it made us, we live because it does, it is intelligent, there are fairies and magick and love and it's everywhere from here to the heavens above, yes yes i digress from here to eternity to there and nutters to the sane we are free when we can forgive ourselves and see, like i did today 11:11 a sign that i'm on the right track, seeing all the aspects that i lack, all the things i wish weren't true, all the bits of me i don't recognise and dislike, and choose to shed, unravel like a hasty seamstress and a thread, choosing not to eat the stuff they give us as our daily bread, if the in'greed'ients have numbers in them i'll pass thankyou, acidity regulators mount up, only a few will get that reference but i don't care, i'm sharing everything with a sense that this may be my last, i favour every day i see, i thank the heavens and wonder is there a better version of me, yes please, i'll be that one, all the time not just a few, not for those minutes and hours i was over the last few years but every day, for weeks on end, not just those seconds and minutes in the mountains of spain when i was literally emphatic and ecstatic and in a place of pure epiphany and feeling as though i wished those moments would never end, not experiencing all that much that is new, so i'm limited in my company and occasions to write about anything other than the true truth i've seen so far, memories coming clearly back, dreams, every night, all this time it's fevered and sources of information from my own thoughts, to those of the psychic mediums i see, the wonders will never cease, sheesh when will this post ever end? here i go my one and only friend all and everyone of you :) + <3