One of my favourite posts ever

One of my favourite posts ever was the one I wrote called '1,010,101 Story Time' about a story that came to me during a mushroom experience, under a Yew tree, a mixture of my life story and also a combination of all of those things rolled into one, so that it became hard to tell the difference or know what there was in common between them.  It was about a healer, a medicine man, and I have had many experiences that gave me the notion of being one, of becoming one, of doing more than going through the motions, visions of a healing lodge that I am going to build soon, I have had the idea in mind for many years, addictions held me back, I never did any of the things I wished I had done with my life, I am Now!  I have the building materials coming at the weekend and I will be cobbling it together with natural materials in order to create a shelter with accommodation and a hearth inside.

It will provide me with a space to go to to do spiritual journeying in, I am trying not to use the word shaman, or shamanic, because that it a tradition that comes from Siberia, from their tradition not mine.  I'm creating a tradition by having a connection to spiritual truth, by working with and for it.

I am learning not from a physical mentor but by example, by living it, learning by making do and doing it, by going out into the world and nature especially and learning as I go, building upon the times when I was out there before during the early years of my life, when I was out there recently, when my senses became so sharp and my experience of nature so extreme and incredible, hyperreal.

The experiences ranged from being in a void, blackness all around me, i was god, i was light, i was able to rearrange the timelines that exist, to unravel them all and choose the one that resulted in the best outcome for the majority of folk, i chose to go back to a reality that was good for all back here.

Speaking to someone who went to south america and took a frog poison and died, went past ego death, went past dmt style flashes to another world, past all that to death and resurrection and life.

Back here, only with the experience of knowing that there is something before and after death, back here, having been god, then a bhudda, an awakened being, working back towards that is my goal.

SO I will make a lodge, to house my dreams, my homemade dreamcatcher, my reworking of other ways of being and doing spiritual practise, i drum, i journey in my mind and i am taken away again.

Taken from here, information coming into my mind, I do spiritual healing for people, in person and at a distance, take my word for it, or believe that i believe which is how i started with other peoples stories, or believe that i am insane, going out of my mind, or into my mind as i choose to explain it.

I am going into my mind, my mind being my body, all of me is my mind, and to exist within this shell more properly I have to ground myself within the physical, but also take flight as a spirit body too.

Facing these challenges creates a lot of friction for someone brought up as a christian, left to my own devices in terms of family beliefs I was indeed taught to be a christian at school and church services.

Those stories, bible readings, hymns, all these things confuse the issue because we are taught that they are truth, not stories, not allegories, not symbolic references to something that happened.

To work through this dichotomy, between good and evil, light and dark, the shadow and the person, the whole and the empty, the ways that these opposites come together inbetween them with us there.

The yin and the yang, the male and female energies, the divine comedy, the cosmic giggle, trying to write in such a way to be informative rather than alluding to something, explaining rather than turning it into a poem, writing like this for the first time in a long time, as me, the person I was before I became spiritualised, before I became a doctor zeus, rhyming, telling stories in a mysterious way.

Dreaming of a black jaguar last night, it came up to me, so close I was a little scared but stood my ground, albeit leaning away a bit too because that is a powerful being and something not to take for granted, is it safe to be so close to such an incredible creature?  Well I was fine in my dream and that is another thing that has been happening, becoming more conscious of my dreams, so that I can deal with things there and train my neurons to fire in such a way that they work just as well in the day too because dreams are real, as real as our waking state, what we do there is the same as far as our brain is concerned, there is no difference so doing things whilst asleep makes us capable when awake too.

Losing the numerological obsessive compulsiveness, long phrase there, sorry for the long words, I'm also trying to sink back and rise up, within myself to be the me that I was, am and will be all at once.

Relax a little, not be so nervous, doing things like taking the service at my spiritualist church the last two weeks, and this week once again I will be the person standing there introducing the evening and being there for the people who choose to come there to congregate and laugh and cry and help each other by having some time to socialise, we gather and we leave uplifted knowing solutions to our problems, it's a healing place to be, it's a healing evening, a laughter filled time to be you again.

So I went through this loop a few years ago, the vision of the circular lodge for guests to stay in, now I am getting the experience to actually bring this into reality, and to prepare others to find their own healing, to journey, to meditate, to seek out the answer to questions they are asking, to enter nature, to connect to the trees and earth and sky and water, to ground themselves, to earth themselves, be free.

Going back to the beginning, knowing i am going into my mind, into the labyrinth, going deep within to tie a piece of string to the post that stands in the centre, and light a little fire there at the base, bad idea that sounds like burning someone at the stake, cathartic, heart releasing, does it come from the cathars?  Who were burnt at the stake by the Catholics, because they did not believe in dualism.

They refused to deny their take on life, to turn away from their own beliefs, like many spiritual people the world over, they stood outside the accepted traditional culture, we are doing that now.

Learning how to be connected to nature and know that we do not want to destroy it, anyone who is against fracking, anyone who chooses not to eat meat, or dairy, who has heard or smelt death at an abatoir, who knows what goes on in the dairy industry, who has heard cows mourning the loss of their calves when they are taken away from them so that we can drink the milk they produce to feed them.

It makes us fat, makes our tea and coffee taste nice, with the sugar that inflames our sense and mind, that damages our bodies, inflammation becomes the norm and pain is numbed with drink and drugs.

We are not well, we live lives that are shorter than they could be, or we live too long and lose our minds, the environment is poisonous to us, the air, the water, the food, the homes we live in, full of things we put on our skin, into our bodies, air fresheners, chemical combinations that no-one know the result of, we are a cocktail of what we have consumed, including the media we watch and read.

So leaving that behind, to enter nature again, to wash when it rains, to eat when it fruits, to live so close that i will be moving to the rhythm of the seasons, flowing with the sensations that come to me.

Whatever it looks like, I am clean, I have detoxed, I know about vitamin B12 deficiency, I am eating well, I take supplements, I am skinny like a tribesman, because i don't eat the things you call food.

I have learnt so much, that i can pass on but only to those who are interested, those who wish to heal, those who wish the evolve, to go backwards to reveal what worked for thousands of years, to grow into the future by choosing to move into it consciously with energy and excitement and problem solving ingenuity because we need to create community and a way out of the current paradigm.

This society is supposed to be civilised, civilisation, so called, that has homeless people, does not look after the disabled, the elderly, the mentally ill, they are thrown to the pavement and the morgue.

Removing the care budgets for them, removing their health payments, getting pen pushers to take a test with people designed to take away their benefits, let's save money there not from the rich people.

Don't be robin hoods, be Prince Johns, be the tax man, take everyones money and redistribute it wisely but do we?  No we don't all these inconvenient truths, we spend it on making others rich.

So leave it all behind, as so many are, but we don't see them again, they disappear into the woods.

They treat themselves more sensitively and work hard to create self sustaining self sufficient ways of living and become to sensitive that they sound nuts, they can't stay too close to the rest of us no more.

It hurts to be around so much suffering and see it, smokers sucking on death, you see it and feel it, you smell it, your senses so strong and sensitive, you taste your food, eat less, taking the energy in.

You feel more, someone smudged me at the weekend, with sage, I felt my energy field clearing.

I grow into a better person because of those also doing the same things, taking the same steps.

Journeying physically and spiritually to a better world, one that we are creating in the here and now.