it's uncertainty that's killing me, the what ifs ands or butts
when i don't know what im doing, doing nothing seems
like a less risky option given I can and do quite
regularly read your mind and ask that one
question that brings up what you need
to clear, making me the bad guy for
a good good good reason xxxxx
not knowing what I should do
i often prefer waiting to let
you tell me a nice story
about you instead
that's my yellow
streak showing
flippin cowardy
custard again
shying away
given time
spent
avoiding conversation at any cost, replying to everything with a witty or cutting one
liner so I can get away from this stressful mess that is me learning to feel, cope,
work through the shaking like a dog, frustration working like a friction to growin
stopping me from showing what im feeling and feeling what i'm showing too.
So i go through this thing where I'm careful not to offend anyone or hurt
anyone and just end up wondering why someone won't tell me what
i should be doing, where im going wrong, i can take it, i like it
it's the only way i've ever learnt anything is by making a
fool of myself and trial and error, embarrassment at
not being able to do the things you make look
so fucking easy but maybe isn't at all...
I still don't know but i'm going to
have to confront it all again
and again and make
even more fuckups
so im sorry in
advance
love
jon
x
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