the silence

i use this place as a forum for communication, explanation, expression, to go some way towards a true confession up to a point, so I don't expect or desire anything in return, as always this tends to be a tribute to whatever went through my mind not the actual thought process which is usually much better than what comes out but that's the way it goes, with all artists maybe that's the point, the fire, the driving force, that makes them use whatever they call their voice, mine is words, that's my art because in person they rarely start, unless i'm nervously filling a silence with some rambling story, getting sidetracked, or revealing the journey i've been on and so here goes with some of the things I've noticed...  I used to drink a lot, used to smoke a lot, toke a lot, joke a lot, choke a lot because i'm always scared of my own tail, my own epic fails, constant embarrassment a feature of the way i've learned because i tend to do whatever i feel like doing not what some think is ok and on this day i spotted that i'm not used to lights, the sights and sounds of towns, the frowns, the clowns, the drunken, the old, the fucked, the down on their luck, the sirens, the violence, i'm used to the country, nature and the silence