dandelions

it's a confusing time to be so in touch with the shadow and the true self
feeling emotions i haven't felt for ages or seemingly ever before like well
jealousy where i always thought, there was a real sense of true love so
it's a pickle and a weird surreal time for me to behold this shining light
to realise the deeper aspects that were hidden or were projected out.
I worry about being around others, i find it hard to make decisions as
i always have although now it's more of a case of should I go for it?
My appetite is high and my thirst but when I'm walking around the
supermarkets I work in I don't see much food there, just, products
so I can tell that something is changing as i hold on for a dear life
i've reached out more than i used to and it makes me wanna cry
because i didn't dare to dream before and there was a lot of guilt
and shame which i can only choose to live with, move on from...
For me this is a learning experience, this life i mean, this place
I wish i could start over but i have to accept the life i've lived so
far and i know there are ways and means for me to join in more
once i've paid my debts off and paved the way for less fear x
i don't suit meat anymore or cheese or milk or cigarettes or
at least i suddenly stopped wanting to consume them and
now it's all vegetables and wild food and learning about em
the wild garlic that i love to pick and give away as always
but others like dandelions that i wanted to try but didn't
dare to for some stuck reason and others im going to
learn about like hawthorn leaves and intergrate the
knowledge that i already knew with whatever i can
learn from others over this summer and the years
to come, i want a herb garden and a yurt to live
in here and to keep on giving a healing energy
away focussing on folks and areas and well
everywhere and back again and growing in
strength and resolve and will power and
taming the wild beast, releasing the
inner being, being more of the me
that was lost, the me that was
there all the time, a new me
a combination of all three
trying not to rhyme so
constantly ;) maybe
but generally enjoy
and give joy as
much as i can
possibly :) x
so bye for
now from
us as it
were
x