short term gain for long term pain

i can think of all sorts of things that feel good at the time but then leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth afterwards, the last few weeks have been about short term pains leading to longterm gains...

feeling as though i've reconnected to deeper levels of my being, finding all sorts of attitudes and behaviours coming to the surface to be consciously seen, conscience, literally with science...

with the ability to reason and see your own mistakes for what they are and choose to change.

feeling like a barrel being scraped, psyhcologically speaking as though old wounds are reopened, as though old scars get a chance to be massaged with some cocobutter to help heal them.

the meditation course took me away from the day to day, gave me a chance to see myself more clearly, in many ways than ever before, and then you are in the moment, able to decide...

do i want to make changes now, that may cause me to feel pain, emotional turmoil, not so much phsyically as mentally, realising thought processes that go on usually, quieten the mind

let it calm down, me calm down, less anxiety, more comfort in myself, in being

it's a great feeling to go outside and sit in the sun and just be

feeling the resistance inside, wouldnt you be happier inside in the warm?

old patterns emerge and are transformed and quietened too

the general state is better than ever the feeling grand

great, ever so relaxed, noticing when you panic

noticing im walking too fast slow down

breath slow and deep make every moment a meditation a chance to notice what's going on

then with that knowledge, moving on, through, out of the funk of winters feeling of dying

a little as though the body creaks, joints ache from the cold from the rain feeling alive

again
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