nothing much - it's the world we live in that makes us this way, AND the way we are that makes the world we live in.

so I'm going to write something with no idea where it's going.  That's a very new thing for me, I've done it sometimes in the past, and let things just go where they will.  In my life, I've always been quite structured, made lists, prepared quite a lot, overthinked and overimagined how things would go.  Who would say what.

I suppose it's these flippin women I like and the effect they have on me, that is most disturbing in a good way

I've had so little to do, and my life was fairly empty, I was just rolling along.

Miserable with work, feeling chained to my car, chained to my life.

Work work work, socialise?  Oh no, not that again.

Hanging conversations where I end up feeling and looking bored, that don't go anywhere.

Talking about the fucking weather, talking about talking.  Let's just rot until we rot.

Then suddenly, a few years ago, everything took off.  I did too.

Started going out on my own, cos if I didn't I wouldn't go anywhere.

I guess it would help if I asked others to join, and I do now.

I try to get them to see that the world is open and free.

It's the people that live in it that aren't, that includes those who try to maintain the status quo.

The thing is that the status quo is a lie,  things change all the time, they don't stay put.

Right now we're in an emergency and treating it like another normal day.

Things in the media designed to make us fear stepping out of our front door, whether by accident or design we've gotten very good at practically living in a daze of information gathered and stuffed in our ears.  All sorts of stories that lead cos we bleed.  We die on a daily basis and are born, again and again the nature of this place means a large turn over.  Medicine is becoming a danger to the planet, or at least the fact that we're living through things that would have killed many in days gone by, and keeping the rest going long after their best before date.  The number of old people requiring medical help is the reason we are in such a crisis where the hospitals and other resources are at breaking point.  Immigration is merely something that has become easier since the world started getting smaller, people have always moved around, on a whim or by design.  Now you can get anywhere in the world in a day or two and if not to your final destination, you can make a lot of headway in that time and if the rest of the trip is by canoe or on foot, you'll defo be there in a week and a bit.

Kids don't worry about such things, or do they?  Well yes they do and it affects them more.

They're so vulnerable and open and not yet as jaded as the rest of us.

Not yet switched off when it comes to realising the obvious.

We need to stop carrying on like nothing is happening.

This will just end in tears, luckily they'll be cathartic.

If you don't do something to make your life better now, it's going to come down on you like a ton of bricks.

Every time a lesson comes to say hello, greet it with some trepidation fine, but be sociable.

Offer it a drink and a sit down, enter into a dialogue, ask this lesson it's purpose.

Start treating yourself better, accepting that what has gone before was right.

When it all comes down to you again, and there are no other excuses.

No-one else to blame, deal with your fears, your expectations.

Your hopes, your dreams, your experiences, your orgasms...

Terence Mckenna you've got a lot to answer for ;)

It's all good though mate, I love you again.

You see i was on a path towards seeing everything in a very different way.

I was starting to distrust everyone and everything, caught in two minds.

As dark as these times are, there's only light ahead of us now.

To believe anything else is to give up, a living death.

I see dead people, they're commuting to work.

Wandering slack jawed around costco.

Picking up something they don't need.

Vying for a parking space angrily.

Not letting go, but grasping.

Holding on, in desperation.

Hoping things will stay the same when they won't even if they ever could.

Times they are a changing, speeding up even when we're killing it.

When we're filling up our time with lovely people it's different.

As quickly as the days go by, a new one appears in a flash.

We see quite clearly if we're wasting them, it's a choice.

Go quietly into the dark night, or shine your light.

Dare to be different to all the normals you see.

Stand out amongst those below the parapet.

Stick out your neck and expect the noose.

Lay down on the bloody chopping block.

Waiting patiently but not caring about it.

I am free because whatever happens,

I'm doing my best to be one of us.

The folks who will speed change.

Whilst everyone else clings on,

like control freaks to a remote.

Let it happen, enter the dragon, let go, breath deep, stay strong, find your friends.

Make others your priority, work hard to make sure you die with a smile on.

Whether that's just the grin within that keeps your laughter lines hidden.

Or the giggle that escapes when someone lights up your life.

I'm your friend first, anything else is a bonus, get close.

Know that I'll always be there when you need me.

Not necessarily when you want me no ;)

I'm learning to love by loving all of us.

As for making love that's soon.

No rush or desperation.

Getting used to you.

To know you.

The right way.

Otherwise you might think I only want you for your body.

You might not believe me when I tell you you're beautiful.

The destination is the journey, the journey the way home.

Home is where the heart is, my heart is no longer running.

It's waiting patiently for others to get on the same page.

I'm going to keep on writing the book 'til the deadline.

Sometimes leaving things till the last minute, or not.

Sometimes leaving everyone to be alone.

Sometimes needing my own space.

My own time, then I miss you.

Need your warm embrace.

Need to give you my love.

Not asking for anything.

Just to be with you.

Feel with you.

My friends.

Your pain.

Your love.

For now.

Is all.

I am.


Love
Jon
x