Focus Power Daniel San

Don't know why I've put that as the title, I used to have it as a motivational message as my phone turned on back in the day.  I was going to say something about the difference between the two extremes when it comes to a connection with someone.  In my case, when I know someone well, I can tell if they're going to pop in. It's very handy as I get a day or so's notice that I need to tidy up.  In fact I don't yet know that this means someone is coming or who, although it's easy to guess that, I get a vague hint at the start and if you've only got one best friend the feeling is easy to distinguish.  Does that sound impossible to you?  Unlikely?  Daft?  OUTRAGEOUS?!

The caps were a mistake but i'm leaving them now so there.

Um yeah so it's a natural thing for me to get close to people, merely by spending time with them, sometimes having adventures and near misses and narrow escapes with them brings us near, or the time I had a full on love affair with a woman in the states, that I've never met, and only exchanged emails with.  For all I know, and her facebook now has the picture of a man as the profile pic ;) she's a very decent young woman who went back, on my advice, to her ex.  To give him one more chance at really making a go of their relationship.  It involved nightclubs and all sorts of wonderful surprises and later on some not so amazing things like sex addiction.  She could be a man who made the whole thing up, but the connection was real.  I would wake and turn the pc on and KNOW there was an email waiting for me, random times of the day or night I would need to check, there would be one written minutes before and I would write a reply, get some kip for two hours or 90 minutes or however long, wake find a reply, reply...

That was a lovely time around mid winter 2010 and reminded me how great it was to have someone to be myself with, truly, not some mate who likes to talk about well everyone and everything, not just a friend who I can be really honest with, but someone you can share your deepest fears with and greatest triumphs and then fuck ;) although our conversations were only ever platonic and romantic and loving and rewarding.  All of them,especially the difficult ones.

And it was even stronger than any connection, any link I'd ever had and over the thousands of miles from the u.k.to Miami, or new york or wherever it was this person was based.  Goes to show that the distance between two people means nothing. For all I know it could have been anywhere, however I think there is one thing I have to keep in mind.  The love was real.

The feeling deep inside, and all over me, the energy I receieved, the love i gave, all so very real.

I miss writing long letters.
Longing replies.
Love
Jon
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