So I got home in a good mood, if temporarily for a second or two slightly annoyed by the banter. I'm a cheeky sod, I take the piss, I'm sarcastic too, but being on the receiving end of this sort of thing can be trying at times... Seeing yourself in others, them being a mirror to your own inadequacies and foibles...
So I learnt that if I was constantly making a joke of everything, not only was I annoying, and I see myself anyway as someone who is great in small doses, I even have to spend and enjoy lots of time taking myself away from er myself, giving myself space to just be and not have to interact.
You don't get taken seriously if you're never serious...
So someone said something daft, I said something dafter and that led to me being accused of being in a certain type of mood, 'one of those' was mentioned...
That led me to getting angry and then I realised. The person accusing me of this, was actually in a bad mood themselves, (understandable as this guy is going to have open heart surgery in a couple of weeks and is quite reasonably shitting himself)... and taking this mood out on me, passing it on.
I then went off in a mini huff, thinking things over and through and worked all this out.
To the point that I decided, hey I'm in a good mood, why should I pass it on?
Driving up to the garage to get some chocolate and a wanky electronic cig...
I was made to feel outraged by a driver speeding into our village.
He's had a stressful day and wants to get home or wherever.
I'd driven up behind giving him an angry face in the mirror .
Then I smiled and made up my mind not to be the passer.
I let it go, worked out why this was happening, let it go.
I won't pass this ridiculous situation around.
Why should I? Of course I've grown up,
Thinking that everything is my fault.
It's always down to me if someone else is in a bad mood.
It must be my fault cos I'm a terrible person.
Or that was how I used to live my life.
Convinced this was the case.
Until quite recently.
No more.
---
From the horses mouth and heart.
A few weeks ago, I was introducing myself to a horse at the stables where I do some gardening.
I leant over near this nervous horses stable door, the top half open, she skittishly moved around,
breathing slow and deep with my head at the level of her nose and hands down, I snorted slowly,
air going out of my nostrils into the horsey's, let's smell each others scent coming out of there,
I breath out into her nostrils as she breathes in, she breathes in as I let my breath go out,
in this way, if you're brave or stupid enough, and yes I'm both of course, we meet.
I got the distinct feeling and thoughts entered my head, that this horse is afraid.
Particularly though of men, and I also sensed and thought she had been hurt.
Next thing, the owner of the stable explains, this horse doesn't like men.
Turns out weeks later, that the chap there, who has a race horse,
and occasionally rides out and exercises the other stablemates,
has been asked quite politely if he thinks his racehorse could do with a different type of feed.
It's obviously not been fed enough, is gaunt and unhealthy looking, and he goes into a rage.
This guy is charming when he wants something, has a beautiful girlfriend and daughter.
Other times he's ignorant and rude, dismissive, works at Tescos to make ends meet.
If you met him there he acts as though he doesn't know you at all, he's ashamed.
I'm guessing this part, although it seems likely, his behaviour is inconsistent.
So he's had people making complaints to the RSPCA about his horse.
Looks like he will be losing his job, again in his case, and move on.
I now believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that my connection with the horse was valid.
Things like this don't just happen for no reason, should I have acted on it earlier?
I did have my suspicions about the horse confirmed straight away at the time.
Although I wasn't told that her nervousness around men was due to this.
Probably because the horse hasn't been able to tell anyone else.
This may sound bizarre, but that's no reason to doubt it is it?
Lots of this sort of thing happens when you open your heart.
Listen to what arrives as easily as breathing when you do.
So hearing this sort of thing, can make you disbelieve it.
However the more it occurs, the more open you get.
When you become open to it, it happens to you.
Then other people if we're brave enough.
Will learn to be open to it too.
The world will change.
Forever and a day.
For the better.
Love
Jon
x
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
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