Paying Lip Service - The Respect Party

So it seems like you've been paying me lip service... Nodding and saying the right things but ultimately ignoring everything I've said. I've found that it is better to say a little and make each word count rather than blathering on for fear of the silence. It took a while to get there but I am.

We've been through some interesting times and I've opened right up to you. You haven't told me a thing, held back, clammed up. I stupidly assumed that we were on the same page, but we're not even reading the same book. I don't know what you think but I know you're scared and why.

You say that you like to stay in control, that is an illusion because it isn't you in control it is the ego.

You must let go for the boundaries that have built up to be disabled then destroyed.

Until you commit. I think we've found the sticking point hey? ;)

I know the fears that are present within a man.

The fear of looking foolish - I worked my way through that with constant embarrassment
The fear of not having the answer - I hold my hands up when I don't know what I'm doing
The fear of letting others help - I ask whenever I need it although it's still a struggle to do so

You feel as though you have to put on a front of confidence, but it's fake, I can see through it

You don't open up, keep in contact, and I know the worry because we're similar, I've been there

You fear that opening up will leave you vulnerable and it will and it does for good reason

To be vulnerable, to be open, is the way to go, but it's much harder to start with

I know it's hard not to be open one day and closed the next...

The Respect Party

My manifesto...

A) Treat all people with respect (whether they deserve it or not) ;)
B) Be humble and strive for humility, empathy, be true to your word
C) Most importantly stand up to anyone who does not agree with this

I have a real problem with confrontation, so I often end up hoping that my ranting in private will somehow reach you. I don't talk about you behind your back, or moan to anyone else. I hope upon hope that you will learn the lessons that you obviously need to, but you seem oblivious.

It's been an issue in the past, as I find it so hard to enter into a discussion about this, as I have decided that you wouldn't do anything about any issues raised so I think I'd just be wasting my breath. Why do things have to come to a head, why does it feel like you want to cause an argument? I find you like a shit movie, not worth watching except for one good scene.

So I'm putting up with you because there are glimpses of a human being and improvement

If you only do the right thing when you are made to... That's just soul destroying for me

I don't want to be your crutch or your alibi... Inclusivity is a word I just made up

It means including you because to exclude you would be cruel so I'm not

I'll keep waiting but not forever as at some point you will achieve me losing my temper and telling you so many home truths that you will have to admit where you've gone wrong, your fledging
attempts are feeble, your manners and attitudes and perspective are off and I don't like you for it

I grudgingly love you nonetheless despite your lack of faith in yourself

I thought I was an example for you to learn from but you ignore what I say

I make a point of remembering what you tell me, if it's important to you, it is to me

Can you say the same? Am I just your crutch? Are you holding back?

Light &
Love
Jon
x