Journeying to the centre of me

Let alone to the centre of the earth, the sky, the feelings i have and wonder why it's taken so long?

But before this becomes a poem again, or some kind of rhyming thing, I will finally have the strength and time to change my mind and find the rhythm of writing normally again as in a blog post for you.

So tonight i was guided to take folks on a journey and magically, beautifully it was shared to a group and i waited, chatting with a friend before really getting into the drumming, quietly because I didn't want to disturb the relatives here, and loudly enough to hear the beat of the drum with my finger tips and send myself into a state of calm relaxation, people there, somewhere in the world listening and joining in as i quietened the mind, the rational bit, and emptying it out i found a story coming in.

A story of a journey away from towns and cities to the forest, on a dark moon unlit night, with the darkness causing the eyes to become accustomed to the lack of light, the sights are lost except for the stars, a very wintry scene and scary for some in foreign lands i would think where wolf and bear and their kin wander freely, on this occasion we travelled to the deep woods, away from prying eyes and human beings, into the woodland tracks and clearings, up a hill to visit with the mountain air and trees and finally arriving at the summit of a hill to see the starlight raining down, a clear night sky, a shooting star, connections near and far, to the stars as they wandered into view, the night sky alive and the ground becoming a way to cleanse and find peace in this life, as the mushroom mycelium and crystals and earth beneath the feet gather energies to be renewed and earthly life to be regenerated.

It was a chance for me to lead a journey, to honour the directions, the elements, the seasons and the self, to begin a journey without and within, to share this with others, to let my imagination become one with the all that is, to bring healing to those who took part, and to myself, to continue my healing journey as a medicine man, a spirit worker, guided as i am, being myself really for the first time ever.

Feeling the responsibility, the joy, the passionate embrace of the energy, the beauty of giving, living free, being me, working for others, sending love, making connections, giving affections, energy.

You see this is the culmination and feels like the end of a story, the end of a trip, the coming together of two vehicles in space, the sky falling on me, and yet it's also the best thing that's ever happened.

I'm lucky, grateful, blessed, and feeling like i deserve it for the first time in a long time, if ever.

I am very teary as i write this, a lump almost forming in my throat, things have happened, been happening, I've been so close to this before, narrow escapes, false dawns, ways that I've expressed this kind of creativity, these visions of a healing journey. the idea of creating sacred healing space.

A lodge, a place for folks to be held and healed and for their true self to be revealed, no more rhymes here, let's concentrate on truth and love.  So here I am with the courage to continue on, create, build.

No fear, having faced the dark for real out there, now to face it inside more, I wrote about the shadow several years ago, now promised journeys into the wilds, walking pilgrimages to the river where i was born, to follow its course, all the way there and back.  To greet and make an offering to it, and to visit and walk the length of the spine of the ridge of the nearest hill to where i was born, the edge of the Cotswolds hills, a path trod by many before me and many after i am sure, another part of the same mission I am committed to take and I will, backpack packed with hammock, tarp, cooking utensils.

So I will finish my training for now knowing that the real work begins with those who wish to visit, who wish to receive healing in person, after a year of training in spiritual healing and years of doing it before that intuitions leading me to guidance and experience, knowing, and being, a natural healer.

Creating sacred space, opening and closing, ceremony, energy work, healing, wild food foraging, meeting the ancient forest trees, sitting in connection with nature herself, meeting each other, people.

The worst of animals for much of my life, to me, anyway, I have struggled, out there I was happiest.

But that nature is only a step away from who we really are, wild and free, healing me has been to return me to my place in society, to bring me back into the bosom of my family, ancestors, history, herstory, the revelations and the mystery, the stories, the creations, the preparations, the training.

All bringing me to this day, to the drum, to the beat, listening in, sharing out, trading, energy for love.

Love for energy, giving healing away for donations is my way, to allow others to receive the love.

We are all one family, one world, we must realise that, be one again, to survive, to heal, reveal us.

To live in truth is to see the reality behind the things we see, and smell, taste, touch, feel, sense.

The experience, the senses only take us so far, the bare bones and breath, breathe deeply, let go.

Where will that take us, where can we end up, what will we do, can we all move on, evolve, grow?

I believe so, I am willing to give my life in service to nature and to my fellow beings like I promised.

So many years ago when I walked five hundred miles in a foreign country alone and learnt my path.

Love New Things

Went out today to ground my feet, and burn a fire to keep my hands warm, practise gathering the materials as I would if I were showing someone how, to start a fire from scratch, so that they know too, and enjoy the experience of doing it themselves, getting to light it once and tend it to help it on its way, much harder in the winter, the wood is often wet through or damp in the centre, the cold stops it from taking quite as easily as it does in summer, and the cold keeps the oxygen levels down, low to the ground, the moisture being forced out of the firewood as it sizzles and spits and smokes and chokes you if you're not careful, so you are but get covered in the smell and the addition of pine branches, helps to drive out parasites, and cleanse the skin, and breathing in the resins clears the chest because the cold gets in there too, creates an issue when you can't heat your place and the breath is cold air coming in, the body dry and needing to drink more water to replenish that which keeps the breath hot and the skin moist which is why we get chapped lips, sore skin, wind blown and burnt.

Bare feet on the ground to give back, to earth myself to let go the extra static electric from being in a house all the time, and not wandering for hours barefoot on grass like in the summer months, creating a great healthy feeling and an energy often lacking when the sun is less strong and our skin doesn't take it in, but mostly that's a lack of going outside, wrapped up warm to get our outside time in nature because we don't feel like it in a vicious circle cycle of not wanting to face the winter winds, and then that becomes not spending enough time out in it, unless it snows because we find that fun, but anyway it was good to go and watch the sunset or at least gaze from up in a tree on a hill, favourite place for me now, the hill closest to where i was born, the ridge of the cotswolds edge, gaining in popularity with me since I did a workshop on connecting to the sources of energy within nature of my birth, creating relationship to the land and the waters of my birthplace, my birthright, to be connected.

I do healing then often, because i feel as though i have done some for me, on myself, just by giving myself time to be there, feel there, energise and become ecstatically happy again, smiling, laughing, childlike not childish, i like to make that distinction, wondering, feeling wonder in, inside, outside, seeing more, feeling more, connecting, and running, climbing a tree, running down a hill, something i have been guilty of judging others for in the past, jealous probably, seeing someone carefree and loving their life, seeing the shadow, the inner self, the liar, the lied to, the lie, lies, laying deep at the bottom of the shadow of the self, wherein is the light that we really are, the gentle self, the true self, and going there, is where i am at, to finally keep going until there is only darkness, only the smirk, only the child who tries acting but smiles because they know they are pretending, to reveal the real.

To reveal the self who can say their truth, without feeling as though they are making it up, act real, be real, trace every thought to it's programming, trace every image to it's fantasy, go deeper, inside, by journeying, by being mindful a word i have come to despise like veganism, isms are a lie too, just be you, just do what you feel is right at the time, and don't judge others because when they see you eating a sandwich made of white bread and butter, and cheese they will doubt your truth, they will wonder if you ever meant what you said, so will you, and cave sometimes to old habits, because you think they will give you the pleasure that they used to but they don't because you do not enjoy that anymore and never did, crisps though, walkers salt and vinegar they were still good, things that taste good may not be good for you, but they sure taste like they are, the distinction there is the truth and the lie too.  But you learn as though it were a test, whatever i was getting at when i started this i don't yet know, eventually i usually magically manage to circle back and tie up loose ends.

Becoming the true self you leave behind what no longer serves you, because you are in service to the truth which is love, i hasten never to use someone elses phrases or words, or lies, or cliches, if i can i would prefer to turn everything on its head, sentences backwards, no fire without smoke sort of thing, and keep that going, to reveal some hidden truth about this topsy turvy world of mine that i live in.

We all live in something strange, rearranged gradually or in a rush, slow down, breathe, find the stomach is tight again, panic setting in?  It's a deep wound, coming to the surface just like all the consciousness that is becoming like the waters of a lake, serene as times these days, chronic never, acute sometimes, the ripples are gentler, the waves lapping gently, on the shores, journeys undertaken and meditation coming in not out, i clear my mind, spirit talks to me, enters into my open body, to my mind, through my heart to be processed with love, to see the truth which is love, to feel it too, in the form of bodily sensations, vibrations, healing, freeing, seeing, being, doing, entering into a new stage of life, where i fail to see the patterns of others as a problem for me, you be you, i'll be me and i no longer have to explain that to others, be their mirror as much, because i'm not around those who do not wish to discuss death as readily as life, or spiritual matters as much as the physical energy we are.

So life is better, more relaxed, coping with a feeling of lack, knowing im showing signs of the past, but those were dry runs im getting so wet, don't talk about it because spoilers!  Get there in your own time, this life or next, whatever, fool no, joker no, not labelling, never liked names, you are you, hi.

Wondering why comes less often, now it's experiences more, time no, it flies away from me, being is the way to be, i do more but seem to be getting less real work done, it takes so much of life to look after oneself better, and do all the chores, and communicate with others other than me which i never much liked, not on the phone, not in person, but it's what i must do, because i love it really, sharing, caring, being there for them because i see through their issues right away not mine so much oh well.

Create solutions based on holding them in a warm embrace, letting them play, be free outside, that will do, wait and see, hold on, for them to feel it and come to me, no pressure, no friction, just wait, do some temporary whatever if i have to, because i dearly wish to travel for a holiday and be me.

Not take the spiritual transformation with me on my journey, be me, the person, not the god self, not take everything so seriously or immediately go to the deepest level of reality, or meaning in a word.

Not take people as though they were seeing and feeling as i do, that they wish me to join them there, but actually allow them to be them, not having to join me, or make me feel less or more than i am, because they can just do their thing happily, the banter, the chat, the small talk, enjoy it all please.

I'm just me again more than ever, finding my own enjoyment in experience, not shopping but walking around seeing people, things, once in a lifetime experiences like a bird coming closer than ever before.  Goldcrests, fluttering like bumblebees, i can't persuade anyone the desperate nature of nature so they will just have to realise it for themselves, as they obviously are choosing not to now so that's that.  Not my business to explain anything anymore, try to offload the revelations and information, just be me, relax into that, try to see if there's any enjoyment to be had in just catching up with them.

Feeling less like a business like experience, you know i'm here for a reason, let's see what it is, something i need to say to you, you need to say to me, forget that quite so much, let the innocence of being be, let the talk talk, but at the same time it's hard for someone like me who is a conduit for love.

A Journey to the Moon and back

I went into my hut and got the fire burning with pine, cleansing myself with sage harvested last year and dried, i said my greetings to the four directions and elements, the north winds of winter, the spring sun rising in the east, the south seas of summer and the west autumn lands, asking for them to be present as I did spiritual healing for myself and then for those who have requested it from me, to pass it on after saying my prayer, and attunement completed i felt energy in my hands as usual, with the intention that is goes to those individuals, each time moving from one person to the next and then finally having done the work i said I would do when I promised to give my life in service to my fellow beings, I got to the point of the journey.  I got my drum out and heated the skin by the fire until I felt ready, I had just to sit and get comfortable so that I could lose myself in the beat of the drum, find a rhythm that was not too fast and not too slow, and as I heard it throb and vibrate and resonate near my face I let myself become empty, I slipped into the river of consciousness and my spirit left my body, as the physical was left behind to be cleansed and healed my spirit floated down stream with the current and then rose and soared from the waters into the sky, to fly up to the Moon. 

Circling at first like the light of the sun when you gaze at it first thing in the morning or last thing before sunset, you see a coloured line chase it's tail in either direction, I call it ouroboros and i see myself circling before spiralling inwards, like being drawn down through a vortex until i enter the centre of the Moon, to find a dark abyss, a blackness so deep that nothing escapes not even light.

It's a place of such intensity and energy that everything is destroyed that falls into it and I am too, so much so that I am unaware of my body until I am shot out of the black hole, only to know that I have gone through there to connect with the centre of the galactic central sun, to see it with my eyes closed, like a beautiful crystal lake, flat calm, then as though a pebble has been dropped into the middle, suddenly there are concentric circle ripples moving outwards, the energy of infinity, and I am there, in that very spot.  Being the energetic equivalent of a sun, seeing myself as sending out waves of cosmic light and love and truth, cleansed of everything that has gone before to be in the now.

Coming back to my body I sit there eyes closed, the light of the flames of the fire licking my eyelids so that I can see this display, being the focus of the practise of sending energy out to everyone around me, into the world, from my heart to the world, to the solar system, wanting nothing more than to see the earth herself, and all who live here healed and for the truth of life to be revealed to us all to feel.

Back in my body again I slow the drum and send the waves of sound through my head, down through my body, shoulders, arms, chest, trunk, lower self, legs, feet, legs, body, neck, and back to the head.

I let the drum beats go right into and out the other side, vibrating my self and as i finish i thank my allies and am full of humility, humbled by my experience, I feel renewed, regenerated, reborn again.

I wash myself in sage smoke naked next to the fire with my bare feet again planted on the soil, grounding myself as I have been connected to the earth, my head connected to the cosmos.

Then with the smoke of the connifer branches and sage finished i add some lavender to perfume and prepare me for sleep later in the evening and get dressed after heating my body with the last flames.

I leave my hut, replace the door as the fire burns itself out and retire to write about my experiences.

you

root and branch, trunk and crown
aint nothing gonna hold you down
jump up feel free with your energy
be good, to yourself, so we can see
this excitement this is natural bliss
from where it went from where it is
fitting us more and more perfectly
leaving old habits, that are unruly
come from within feeling it truly

medicine man walks wild

when you were born they said how beautiful and perfect you were then and are still if only someone says it is so, you can believe it again, feel it and know it to be true, in this way, i tell you, i love you.

so i started a patreon and it's called that because you can become an electronic patron (patrEon) of my poetry and writing and the videos I make, the website allows me to put all my eggs in one basket.

it's become clear to me that I need to go whole heartedly into the healing side of life and so i quit my job and since christmas i've been given the time to actually read a book, learn about natures calendar.

working so hard has it's benefits health wise but i think there is a case for over working and burnout there if you aren't careful, this last year I made time to go to healing camps and festivals too.

i took time off, met amazing inspirational people and created a new life for myself working with and for all sorts of folks all over the world, I send distant healing to people all over the place also.

so it's been a year of transformation and creation, giving myself new ways to find my lifestyle and allow others to support me in that, and also allowing me to be free to go into nature and learn.

using the instincts and intuition I recently met with some yew trees and tasted the bark and leaves, learning what is true is much more important than taking someone elses word for everything.

i didn't swallow I hasten to add, just chewed and spat out the leaf matter and bark, very bitter but I can tell it has a lot of medicinal properties and as you experiment in a safe way you learn a lot.

so my videos are of the poetry i make up on the spot, and writing too comes to me and i get it out there, so I am also looking to set myself up somewhere new, in nature and provide healing there.

some of the videos are of the spiritual kind, i say this because they can be journeys within the mind, they can be attempts to pass on healing in a way that shows others it's ok to be free with your self.

the writings and poetry, or floetry as i call it comes out in a long stream, im not a rapper, so it's not quick, but it is being made up on the spot, inspired by whatever, whoever i have been experiencing.

basically i am going to be spending this year getting my foot in the door of festivals and that brings me nicely to my next point of interest, which is the door to the divine nature and spiritual truth.

during our regular by monthly spiritual development meditation circle, which is designed to help us to become mediums in the long term, i prefer to do healing but i do bring through messages also.

when i'm working with someone or chatting with a friend, i tend to say what i feel is right, but i can't take all the credit for what I say, or don't say, it's a bit like being edited and inspired from outside.

what comes through is often far better and more helpful than i feel i could come up with alone, solutions to problems, what someone needs to hear, not wants to know, allowing them to heal.

if i have to be a source of tough love and tell someone how it really is rather than the perspective they are carrying around with them blinkering them from seeing the truth of the situation then so be it.

it isn't easy to be the one to tell people this sort of thing, but it feels right, and i'm good at it, i like being able to give someone the information they need and however it affects the relationship it must.

i'm there to be their best friend, we are only together for these few short minutes or hours, i am there to be the one who is willing to tell them the truth, so that they can learn and heal and deal with it.

in many ways it feels like exactly what i always knew i was meant to be doing but shied away from because i burned out from being only what others needed and not looking after myself properly.

i dampened my talents and feelings and senses using drugs like alcohol so that i didn't have to be like this, experience the things I am capable of seeing and feeling now, the energy coursing through me.

i feel it in my hands and have done since i was a kid, back then we are so close to birth, so close to perfection, so innocent and so full of everything we need to be whole and healthy, all the elements.

our mothers give us everything we need, all the different bits and pieces for our bodies to work just fine and over time damage from what we put in and lifestyle choices and environment kills us.

we become less than we were then, we become incapable of the miracles of mind and body we were doing so easily, feeling energy between my hands when i was young, and again when i was 40.

it happened at a festival in wales, i was sat there, and felt energy as i meditated, pulsing in my hands as though it were falling on my face up palms from the sky and collecting there to be used and felt.

so i knew it was there for a reason, i played with it, focussed it, looked on others and with my intention sent it to them, working with their own energy, to see how they could get what they need.

since then i worked with people on the other side of the world, i sent energy to them, i sensed where they needed it by closing my eyes and having them in my minds eye whilst my hands explored.

my hands would work up and down as if i were there providing them with a full body massage and scanning for areas where they required energy and where they were already replete to help them.

like having an M.R.I. scanner in your hands, capable of making a three dimensional picture in your mind of where they need help and where they are fine and then advising what you feel for them.

from there it was a case of learning the legal aspects of being a healer, from the innocent and naive person i was to accepting that you need a code of conduct and practise in a safe environment for all.

working with those under my belt has created so much more self confidence, that I know what i'm doing and that I can help people to help themselves, heal themselves with the help of healing energy.

now it's just a case of continuing on the path i am on, keeping good habits, early to bed, stretching, energy work for myself and others, passing on the lessons i learn, the information that comes to me.

working with the energy i feel, connecting up with others who are also doing the same and being a shining light out in the world of what we can achieve when we get together and treat ourselves well.

so a very long story shortened to this line would be that i no longer post my poetry here so much because it's coming out on Facebook, then shared to my Patreon and my Free Energy Healing page

if anyone would like to check out the things I write, the videos i create, check my Patreon link below or if you are interested in some other aspect of this article add me on Facebook as Jon Walker

if you would like to see what Energy Healing is all about I run a group on Facebook check it out, the page is called Free Energy Healing at www.facebook.com/FreeEnergyRevolution

we get together on a monday evening at 6pm gmt every week in order to meditate on the idea of healing from whatever it is that leaves us feeling less than our best selves so feel free to join in.

otherwise i will keep posting some of them here, but only those that i feel are worthy of putting out on my blog, i would prefer for this to become what it once was a diary of sorts of my life time.

www.patreon.com/MedicineManWildWalks is where you can find my subscription service where i am offering to create handmade books of my poetry and other things for a regular payment.

and if you have ever received Energy Healing for Free in person or at a distance feel free to make a one off donation which can be made to my paypal account at www.paypal.me/walkerjp123

In the meantime I am working in the local area and attempting to find worthwhile means of supporting myself, in terms of ethical and ecologically minded ways of healing the world.

Volunteering, creating and running my own workshops and providing healing at festivals around the country and in some cases around the world, I have put my name down to work in Portugal this year.

It's all very exciting and i am grateful to those who have taken an interest in this blog and my work, i call it work but it actually feels like many good things, cooking, creating, more like playing and fun.

Love to all those who regularly read this blog, i know there aren't many but whoever you are, I hope it's become something that gives you peace, enlightenment, wonder, interest, excitement and fun too.

If you  know of somewhere near water, with woods and land capable of supporting a healer and a healing lodge let me know as I am keen to move into nature and provide healing on a daily basis.