So i headed out on a magical mystery tour of places i haven't been since i was a kid and all sorts of other places i've been through for work, on the way somewhere and getting lost basically a lot. I saw where lackham college is finally and travelled the roads heading for poole in dorset, notice i'm not putting a capital letter on my i's or the names of places, i have chosen to be lazy and leave them plain, and simple and all on the same level, no-one is better that anyone else, no judgements and there i go, waxing lyricle, if that's even a word, spelled right. Finally after four hours i had seen frome at least once, and down to cerne abbas to see the giant with his manhood out and proudly solid upright too.
i noticed that, he's rigid and erect and yet no-one will cover him up or change it and that's rare these days, people defend his right to be that way and there visible for all to see so i got naked too a little.
only within common decency and outside social norms, especially as it was raining a little bit but hey, acting as if nothing important is going on whilst overseeing the sixth mass extinction on this planet, buying things to make your garden look nice whilst the himalayan balsam is rife and endemic in devon lanes and frankly it's beautiful if it's not outdoing locals maybe it has a place here now.
all the while sticking to my harsh and clean diet of food grown in the garden and basics like nuts, seeds, fruit, bought as whole foods not as products or factory altered in any way, not even spuds. Mostly, occasionally it's hard not to grab a potato and chip it thickly but driving a lot finally getting south enough to see the sea, and it's lovely and awe inspiring and intoxicating and smells like health.
I breath it in and head for the nearest beach, desperate to find somewhere so quiet i can skinny dip and be along with a tent and a fire and basically go back to nature and live out my fantasies there. so everywhere is busy, even a tiny cove at the end of lanes that seems to run forever tightly headged and no views of landmarks or where you are in relation to the sea and land and sky is everything so i'm following my nose and my instincts and get lost a lot again, back and forth, place names drawing me, the sun is my guide mostly, and time, i want to find a beach, lyme regis was this morning, or earlier in the day anyway, now hope cove, and salcombe and oh those sandy beaches across the river of course.
it was a walking holiday at school with teachers im fond of still and adventures, and getting caught by the tide and nearly avoiding a news story and back to yesterday when some kids, teen agers were on the rocks, two decide to climb down a perilous face above the water below crashing into the coast, i watch horrified as do passers by and basically i'm really caught up in this event happening before my eyes, dog walkers turn back, i'm worried im going to watch some kid fall to his death, friends seem unconcerned, not agitated, theyve got more sense, are pausing for a smoke and sat there, intoxicated?
The red shorted one and the blue topped one have made it down to somewhere that only has a way down and a way up, neither easy or good at this point, they both make it by helping each other to see the way and encouragement not to die today maybe? back to their friends and i can breath a sigh of relief and go back to ice cream recommended and using up the last of my money i wasn't going to spend. i was keen to only burn fuel, swim wild, eat runner beans and apples and plums i'd brought.
so i had whitebait and chips and a pint of cloudy flat cider and walked it off at prawle east and point ish, amongst the cows on the south devon coast path which i'd like to walk again one day not lonely because it's struck me just how much i've missed, and missed being with people too, especially someone i like, that would be good, so that was new and a confirmation, that one is a lonely number too. two can be also but one although i am never truly alone unless i wish to be it still felt lonely.
feeling things, seeing things so clearly, experiencing them so vividly and viciously almost livid wounds and the feeling is ecstatic and so alive, so much life everywhere, soaring gulls and crows and whilst i was skinny dipping on slapton sands i saw a black bird, a shag, a cormorant i don't know.
a campsite helped me out the first night, the second night a different place helped me to decide to go home early by trying to charge me £35.50 for staying overnight with my tent with no power at all.
not that i wanted power, i'd used a socket at Maisie's cafe in totnes to charge my phone a little bit in the morning when i stopped in for a clotted cream cream tea, two scones and green tea my pleasure.
beautiful young woman running her own business, self titled and efficiently starting my day well, i carried on breaking every rule i had set myself but not as badly as i might have had i not become a non drinker, non smoker, non meat eater, non dairy consumer, non factory produced chocolate eater.
i make my own, i drink spring water (ish not sure of the spring or water) it's better than the tap stuff, no chlorine smell and i do this thing where i ask the water to purify itself, i bless it and thank it, then it tastes so much nicer still, pun intended, even now i know it's doing me a lot of good, eating better too, dock seeds for instance who knew you could collect those and get fiber from them and tasty too.
i add them to porridge oats, a free range egg from our free ish range chicken pets, and nuts ground up and fruit from the garden like raspberries or black berries from the woods, sugars for winter there.
removing a fishing rig of several sharp brand new hooks from the 'sands' which are actually tiny pebbles and not so tiny ones but every single individual looks worthy of taking home to celebrate but because they are wet, they shine, and glitter and sparkle and my thoughts are on those who are loving their life and living it well, so all in all my weekend was a consumerist one slightly but less than it would have been months or years ago, no souvenirs, but a few trinkets from the beach, nothing bought but food, to add to my rations, i can't seem to kick this sugar and processed food habit but i'm getting there and reaping the rewards so well, feeling so good, healing well, being a healer better.
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