night train to venus

ok so trip report because despite the fearful voices i went deep and true hallucinations? well terence would be proud i took a heroic dose of 4 dried grams of liberty caps chewed in one, two three four mouthfuls because i felt as though i needed to melt again for the new moon and plant a few seeds for the future after cacao for the full moon, so that medicine after a beautiful meditation where i sloughed off my skin in the river of life and then went to the meadow to shine bright, see my self blackened old wizened and dead turn new reborn as i was shorn into a white body with a golden cloak then last night once six hours of fasting were up and a nap was had i did my prayer to the mushrooms, please keep me safe, show me what i need to see, heal me, energy be true, be good, be real and this healing go deep into my core, take away the parts that aren't mine, let those that are settle back as friend not foe, let me see the good in the bad rather than fear it and turn it back into a ghost or black dog, allies not enemies, relax into the connection so that the blue light can fire up within my heart, radiate out, emanate and throb and pulse and grow, show me the sight and sound and touch and taste and smell and sense the way to a forward escape velocity, where i can see the path, the truth, the way and i did, a vision of buddafield in under two weeks time i was there is hypnagogic astral travelling body and spirit mind so i cried for what seemed like and was probably hours, always in silent darkness, blind, curtains drawn in cold metal box away from prying eyes, caravan of love and sanctuary divine, sublime, i faced myself, my past, my crimes, back in the day the thought was you've done bad things why don't you do some more? My reply? No thanks, I will never renounce love, golden shining glittering energy from above and white light coming up from below, earth and heaven force energy meeting in my heart, i am a tardis, time and relative dimensions in space, in my body, in a bubble, sending out a signal called love unconditional until it retrains every cell and pore and atom connected to every other in existence to be loved and free, well that was that and this is me, dying a little more and living eventually :) + <3