freudian si slip

si so i began an experiment a life or death challenge to see what was going on and to do that i quit everything and every one... i pulled back from the brink and pulled away as i had always done... and as time went on, i found pieces of a forgotten person, Jon... He's braver than i thought we were, and more scared too and thinks a lot of all of you, cares more deeply than i can say out loud most of the time but is getting better day by day and expresses himself truly more often... Into this control environment of a body clearing out twenty plus years of drink and stronger and stronger hence worse and worse perversions of the beautiful natural healing herb cannabis I found a series of revelations became clear to this newly awakening being, because while i was coming out of the fog and weaning myself off it was also true that my connection to the rest of you was strong and getting stronger by the hour, so i had a choice, get sectioned or quit forever, see drink as the depressive shower of shit it is which turns off brain functions we can;t really live without, see drugs that are not in balance as a twisted failure and road leading to a hiding and nowhere with no-one there because you can't connect to them, so now it's a race in space to place the parts of me back within, face my sins and wins and grins and shins and knocking knees, plant some herb trees and fruit and beans and grow a little myself too :) + <3 Thankyou to all the rest of you for not tempting me to be bad, it's been a period of intense sad-ness and gladness peering through... SO what i'm gonna do is see the old ways as a tricky over here one, two, dip in and out and round about and for now thank you thank you thank you thank you :) + <3