Kissincommunicado (Or... What do you see in me?)
I can't see it, I'm not looking for it, I don't care, I can't help it, I don't know...
When I kiss you I don't want to feel like a porn star, it's a conversation that we're having, or supposed to be... And for me conversing starts slowly, while we learn each others vocabulary from scratch, I don't want to jump ahead to the multisyllabic phrases until I can understand the simplest sounds...
And take your tongue out of this verbal equation until it's required to add more depth to the phraseology.
I talk too much, have far too much to say, need to use a lot of words to get my point across, most of the time, so when I'm with someone in an intimate moment, I try not to talk at all, I want the picture that is you and I to speak a thousand words or more...
I suppose I expect the most important things to go unsaid in terms of words, for the communication to be instinctual, I used to pull at parties when I was twentysomething with a raised eyebrow from across the room. It asked the question that our non verbal communication up to that point had suggested was on the tip of my tongue. That was without actually being introduced to you yet. Maybe we'd seen each other on the dance floor, you liked the way I had the moves memorised to Saturday Night (Wigfield) ;)
Opening my mouth to speak usually ruined any burgeoning relationship, because I would immediately put my foot in it ;)
I suppose what I'm trying to say here and probably making a hash of it is...
For me if there has to be a lot of discussion and a lot of dancing around the subject that we both know we're interested in conversing with each other over, then I am probably going to pass. Once I know a little more about you it may become clear that I don't want to know much more than that, and I'm sorry but that's the way it is sometimes, no hard feelings, we're not, and I can see this as clear as day, meant for each other.
'We'd never make the best dance partners...'
Anyway it's been a long time for me, since I did as much as kissed someone that I really liked, the first time in a very long time was this time last year,around October, when i accidentally met someone so special, and I wasn't expecting it so much, that before I could get really scared, I had already uttered the immortal words...
"Could I trouble you for a kiss". And the rest is history, herstory and ourstory...
Since then I've only flirted a bit, and been the unthreatening presence, the asexual being at parties...
The guy who gets on with everyone because I'm not after anything but fun from anyone...
It's a far easier way to get to know lots and lots of amazing people,
whilst staying absolutely safe from getting too close to any one.
It's been an amazing couple of years at trance nights
and days in the sun with tired legs and sore bum
from sitting and collupsing (spelt correctly ;)
in fields and fairly strange environments
full of colours, sounds, feelings
of love for all and no-one
special getting in the
way of expressing
that love equally
so now I say
I love you
From
Jon
x
-
Christmas Cheer - Could we take a quick Poll?
How many people believe in God / Jesus?
How many people are just looking forward to time off and a chance to get even more out of it than they normally do the rest of the year?
So what does Christmas mean to you?
Getting into debt to buy things people don't need and swap them for things you dont want?
I can't help but be concious of every decision that I make, the programming in my brain has unravelled, I can't just sleepwalk through life anymore, I can't sit idly by and watch whilst we ruin the place we live in and on, this very earth, this massive litter bin.
Oh it may just be my own anecdotal evidence, but when I pick up litter in my local area, I am just one person, but the people around me are affected by it, they see me do it, they may even in the locals I have seen on my litter picking travels get caught up in it, a visual ear worm, not a song but a visual representation of an idea, pick up litter and put it in a bin, recycle bottles and cans, do your bit, it seems to make a difference, I'd say there was less litter generally in my area this winter, (when it's far more visible).
As for whether it makes a difference to those individuals who just without thinking (and that's the point I'm closing in on) just lob it outta the window of their vehicle, or carry it and its contents miles only to get rid once it's empty. I found receipts from the Highstreet Fruit and Veg Store from a place in Devon this year, two of them from over a week apart, so these people had visited said place for their hols by the look of it, kept the receipts until they came to Gloucestershire and then they escaped to appear on the side of the road where I found them on the lane near our house.
When are we going to make all packaging biodegradable?
When are we going to start an every now and then or daily but not weekly shop? Which would entail less packaging, more old style shopping bags that are reused, less produce from abroad, because locally seasonally available fruit and veg from these shores makes more sense when the use by date is, well when something starts to go off, given that it's only just been picked, that would mean you would actually look in the fridge and in your store of edibles to see what needs using up, not decide on a whim to buy more stuff you will throw the rest of away.
To get back to this position, more people need to live at home and work from there, more need to be able to do so when we get back to a day when only one bread winner per household is required to be able to afford to live, a situation that is possible when house prices are NOT fixed and raised above the level that the actual physical bricks and mortar costs, by bankers playing with the markets, with the housing market especially as if it was a gambling den of iniquity, instead of the livelihood of most of us at stake, the pressure they place on each and every one of us, is making people sick with stress and worry, and deaths are on their hands, whilst their bonusses pay for them to go away several times a year, buy lots of things they dont need, are they happy? Or are they just quaffing expensive champagne and snorting coke to take away the pain of living with the fact that they themselves have to sleep with prostitutes and virtual sex slaves to money, the kind of women attracted to men who have it and the lifestyles of the rich and famous, so often empty of the simple joy of being...
They can no longer just be
Cos they no longer just are.
And with that I shall say farewell
and be thankful that I can just be and just am
Thanks, in no great part to my dislike and unease at uncle sam
And his traits coming across the atlantic, the way they love our monarchy
and we love all their fads and fashions, it's a terrible waste that we seem to be infected
by their need to get fat by eating huge amounts of unhealthy, unutritious foods and drinks
whilst they gorge themselves on enough energy per city to drive and power two in europe.
It's a tragedy that must stop, the pendulum must swing back to nature, for good or for bad.
I don't know because my mind and my heart tell me that this whole place, universe, cosmos.
Whatever you want to know it as, may all be a huge fantasy in the mind of a great being.
We may just be the players in a huge pantomime, acts in a giant circus, well I'm out.
I think it's time we learnt the truth, and as much as it hurts it's coming out.
About each of us as individuals, we will struggle to hide it.
And about the rich and famous and powerful.
They will self destruct, turn on each other.
They are now, the dirty fuckers.
The miscreants, the darkness.
Set alight by necessity,
the mother of
invention.
And that is all I have to say about that.
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