A Brief Herstory of my Time

A Brief Herstory of my Time

Yow i
Nearly three years old saw my sister coming out of Hospital
Grew up in the most idyllic spot I know apart from Bridport
Saw ghosts, ufos, felt and played with tantric energy, I lived
Entered the workplace, watched my connection to all wither
Yet throughout was gasping in spells, seeking help to breath
Finally I drowned myself in a different nothingness of a kind
Away and a Way was sought found cultivated and harvested
From deaths door I revolved resolved towards the otherone
Let me clear my name and my debts, do what you will, after
That was three years ago or there abouts. I haven't stopped
Yet i

The process of dying while alive is a necessary one thatall human beings need to undertake, that being the operative word here. A metaphorical death which seems nonetheless real at the time, does not kill you it makes you stronger and was the origin of the term...

I had to close my eyes and put my head onto the pillow knowing (at the time at least) that I was about to die and it was my own voice saying "ha ha you can't even contact your friends cos your phone isn't here so just lay down and it will all be over soon"... Taunting me tempting me to stay up and make myself ill or cry myself to sleep and just let go...

I let go... I'd had the vague instinct that I would die every night if and when I actually dropped off (this mortal coil... temporarily as we do when travelling to the realm of the spirit / underworld / undead / netherworld / you name it ) as we sleep.

Woke up the next day with a far greater feeling of lightness of being, so much baggage gone over the last few years of self examination on all scales... Everything happens on all scales of a fractal landscape... Our existence even without proof of a fractal nature behind it (although I doubt it will be long coming if it isn't here already) shows signs of similarity over smaller and larger scales. Any positive change that I make but most of all importance, consistently... over time has a far larger cumulative effect. I finally get so many things that were tough if not impossible.

Stereograms
I can drive and talk at the same time
multi tasking far easier than it was before gradually
focus is an issue as many things can be calling for my attention at once

Over time as I use my imagination to explore these new landscapes and jungle environments, although I find many ruined temples and structures there are so many little places of value that I can't help seeking them even if they are the hardest ones furthest off the beaten track.

The truth is coming out about everything and about time too ;)

shaman of the world unite & untie

Light & Love
Jon
x
I tried to write an account of the lastfew weeks and months just nicely but it's all turning into poetry prose verse ryhme and nonsense type crap at the moment, as hard as I try to be normal and justwrite my feeling it comes out as an attempt to compare contrast or otherwise explain away what ive been going through... It's the transformation into human being right and proper.

Instinctive
Emotional
Emphatic
Creative
Physical
Sensual
Hungry
Loving
Messy
Harsh
Strict
Cruel
Sexy
NATURAL ANIMAL