Only After One Thing? - I Touch Myself - Edward Scissorhands - If Only

Men Are Only After One Thing?

It's been said that Men are only after one thing. If the blokes I'm working with at the moment are anything to go by then perhaps it's true but I can tell that most of their talk is bullshit. Even if it's just a pissing contest rather than a literal show and tell ;) Anyway I'm fairly certain without requiring or wanting any evidence, that I've got them all pegged. Because I couldn't give a fuck either way. I don't have to brag about conquests, can't be bothered to posture over who is harder than who, mainly because I know I could kick them all into next week if I wanted to. A quiet confidence outstrips all their idle tittle tattle. I couldn't care less...

Maybe the fact that I have a big cock helps in that respect ;)

Although I'm going on testimony that is possibly unreliable, most opinions come from what you're used to or a very personal point of view ;)

For the record, this Man isn't 'after' any thing, in particular, I would like everything...

It's such a shame that there are so many people out there sending letters into agony aunts (I read my sisters copy of The Sun, the day after (for the science stories and non violent news, officially ;) but end up reading some of Dear Deidre's page, the meaning of Deidre is "broken-hearted, sorrowful", which is ironic.

Lots of letters are about couples with relationship problems and Deidre's response is often along these lines, 'spend lots of time kissing and cuddling' or 'don't make everything about sex'. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised as many couples these days get together after an initial night of passion and studies have even suggested that sleeping together on a first date (or fairly soon if not immediately afterwards ;) can often lead to a longer lasting pairing, assuming he calls you again oops lol.

Start with sex and it's much more tempting (especially for us blokes who are only after one thing apparently ;) to 'go there' every time, missing out on all the fun you can have getting to know each other properly.

For me if there isn't a serious amount of snogging involved, then I'm unlikely to be...

I know how easy it is to think sex is the ultimate expression of how you feel about each other but jumping straight to the end of a novel to read the last page can leave you feeling very disappointed about what you missed out on inbetween, or it does me...

I Touch Myself Yeah I Want You To Touch Me

Giving myself a massage has taught me so much about how to remove tension and maintain a level of comfort within my own body, it's also no doubt informed my own skills as a therapeutic masseur. I've given a lot of foot massages but it's really hard to find someone who will return the favour who is actually any good at it. I'm not suggesting I'd like someone to rub my feet, I can do them better than anyone else but my shoulders are killing me after emptying four shipping containers in the last two days (and several more before the end of the week) and they're not so easy to reach.

The Cobra pose in Yoga, (In Sanskrit Bhujanga) lead on your front with your head raised up allows access to the bottoms of both feet (assuming you bend ze knees subsequently ;) and reach back and around to give your soles a good going over. You look funny as fuck too so try it and give someone a laugh when they walk in on you ;)

Edward Scissorhands

I learned quite a while ago that women don't like guys with long fingernails even if they are well looked after (mine are always short and tidy). It's not that big a surprise when you think about it, after all, there's always a concern that someone will get a scratch on the walls for at least the first month after you've had the decorators in...

Scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors.

Funny word that, scissors.

If you say any word enough times over and over it becomes meaningless. Perhaps more worrying is the fact that if you overuse a word or phrase or take it for granted it too becomes meaningless. Like 'I Love You' or 'I'm Sorry'.

If Only

I don't make promises I can't keep, often that means not making that many, just to be sure.

I prefer these days to turn the phrase 'If Only' right around and realised that ordinarily it's 'only if' you get your arse in gear, pull your finger out, and do something, that something will happen for you. At least then you may save yourself from commenting later in life 'if only'...

I've waited for things to happen far too often in the past, I suppose it's because I've never been great at making the first move. However I do have a secret weapon at my disposal, no not the one I mentioned earlier, but this other er technique has never failed when I've had the self confidence, the desire and the will.

There's a way where there's a will...

Light &
Love
Jon
x

Various definitions of Pull Your Finger Out off tinternet

"Pull your finger out!" is RAF slang and refers to any lack of activity when something needs doing. Its origin was the accusation that the person(s) concerned was/were "sitting around with their finger up their a**e"

It was the heraldic legend "Semper Iananum" (Always inane... or Always in the bum) inscribed under an extended index finger, circled by an oversized ring - to pile metaphor upon metaphor

My mother was a WAF during the war and had to re-arm, oil, and generally clean-up the planes when they came back from a mission. What is not often mentioned is that the sheer terror of being under fire would often result in the young airmen quite literally sh***ing themselves. As there was often the possibility of romantic involvement between these two groups, there was a great incentive to somehow disguise one's fear and inability to keeps one's bowels closed. Thus rear gunners, who had the most dangerous job and the lowest life-expectancy, would actually hold their finger in their rectum and shoot the machine gun one-handed at the German fighters on their tail. The other crew soon got to know the signs of this in the erratic shooting that ensured as a result, and thus the command would crackle through the headphones to "Pull your finger out!". I have no idea of the veracity of this, but it certainly seems plausible enough to me.