Give or Take

Does what you eat feed your body or take something away from your later life, make your current one worse?  Junk food, tastes great right now, in the moment, of eating, consuming sugary snacks, knowing that tomorrow, today I will feel disgusting, shit through the eye of a needle, feel sick to my stomach, all takes away the pleasure in the moment, at that time of consumption, intolerance within my body to that which does not nourish it.  Wild food, wild living, not stuck inside a building, square, walled, prison.  That is not really living, we weren't meant to house our feet in shoes, insulated from the world by rubber soled footwear, or artificial fibres for our clothes, all these things take from our experience.

So am I creating a better world inside and outside me by not standing in my power, empowering myself to be an island of creation, a space inside and outside me for change, positive creativity, energy to transform my own life, my health, good decisions, bad ones made when induced to do so by drink or drugs, a good feeling at the time, knowing i will feel hungover in the morning or with a thick head from smoking something, that i know is for recreation, entertainment now, wasting time that could be better spent, creating a better environment around me for myself and others is the goal of this life, planet.

So, what to do, start each day with a desire, not to take but to give, not to take life from myself but to thrive and feel good, in the moment and later, knowing the changes i make benefit me, and those around me too, the world itself also, so i choose to only put into my body that which i create, or harvest from nature, or grow, or buy from a supplier who also loves this world, creates a place for us to earn a better tomorrow by honouring our own bodies today, not putting off until tomorrow what i can do better today, to bring with it a life full of energy, transformation, elation, affection for myself.

Giving pleasure to another rather than looking to get something, sex for instance, are you getting a short lived pleasure by masturbating or having sex with another, taking your pleasure from them, using their body to make you cum or pleasuring them, enjoying the moment you are in, taking a day to touch every part of their body, celebrating that they are alive, not looking for anything to come to you, then the next day kissing every inch of their skin, the next just honouring who they are by listening, by taking them into you, by becoming better yourself by giving the other person whatever they need, not desiring anything for yourself, unconditionally living by unconditionally loving, nature, your own body, leaving desire behind to see what flows from within, from outside in, by giving away all your wants, all your short term goals, to cum, which leads to the desire for another, an angry faced expression of lust, rather than a beatific featured face, body, soul, spirit, life, love, giving not taking, sharing not looking for anything but to give, but to live free of the felt need to get something, not wanting, needing only the feeling that comes from giving with no thought for yourself, what you will receive, what you can get.

 If I let the choices of others sway me from what I know to be right and true I am failing them in the worst way, I need to be a shining beacon, a strong and determined example of a different way of being, carry that feeling of determination into everything I do, writing like this has been a long time coming, not angry, not anger inside, disappointment, shame, that I can make the same mistakes again and again.

SO I chose not to have sex, not to give love.  To anyone I did not love, not to take anything at a cost to tomorrow, but to give, give love, give wild free food, give information freely, share what i know and have, choosing not to keep on doing what I was doing, not to cave into temptation, however good the intention of someone else, to give me what they think i need, but merely want right now, to go back or keep on allowing myself to be lead in the wrong direction, away from the affection i feel for the better me, a better them that I can see on the horizon, we will all fail to save this world and each other from each other and the world we have created, by letting others lead us, from those around us to the governments who fail to do anything other than what they think is right for them and their families and us, and for the world itself, to carry on as we have grown accustomed to behaving which is killing all life on this world for the sake of living out of harmony with nature, shitting out what we eat, consume, feeling sickened by our thoughts and actions, letting our bodies become sick, our minds, our hearts, when there really is no need, just a want, or shame, or what we did, or what we had done to us, keeping us heading in the wrong direction, making those bad choices, and for those to create a habit, inside us and around us in the world, when will we see this, become conscious enough to change it all?

When we choose as individuals to put a stake in the ground, draw a line in the sand, become sane in a world driven by crazy behaviour, such that you can only see how dark the horizon and the land itself and the life we were living before when we honour ourself, those around us, the life, the planet truly.

And I for one, don't feel good, from eating what i was eating before, or smoking what i was smoking before, or the relationships I had to people, food, every aspect of my life, was not a good feeling, leading to a better one, not a good experience leading to a better one, i get a taste of a better life now.

In the experiences I'm being lead to, by seeing the difference I can make for me, in my life, in the lives of others, by their example, by my own experiences leading me to conclusions about the ways I could be, the ways I am being, the feeling is better when I don't waste a day doing nothing, or nothing good comes from the food I eat, except the flavour of defeat, that tastes so good at the time, but i know will leave a bitter after taste in the next day or days afterwards, knowing it leads to disease, unease, illness.

We've been sold so many lies, the wisdom is out there, more importantly it's inside us, right now, the power to change is too, just listen harder, with more intent, intention is key, do you intend to watch the planet die, yourself, from ill health, from disease, dosing yourself with chemical cocktails in food or living better and better, healthier days, thoughts, coming from a choice not to feel unworthy of love, loving your own body, your own skin, getting in touch with every inch of it lovingly when you bathe or trying to hastily wash off and rush every action, wash off the sins and shame and fear of failure, every thing that we let hold us back from becoming who we were meant to be in this world, for others, for ourselves, for the transformation of a lifetime to occur overnight, we need to begin today, now.