"I Ain't Dissin You At All, Since You've Been Gone... Away" / je ne veux de mal à personne, juste plus d'amour pour tous - Associate With Your Shadow

“I Ain’t Dissin You At All, Since You’ve Been Gone… Away” / I don’t wish harm on any one, just more love for all

I don’t really know what I’m going to write yet, I just liked the title… That should be on my gravestone. I mostly come up with what I think is an amusing play on words and it’s usually subconsciously associated with or bloody obviously linked to whatever is going on or I’m thinking about lately. This case, well the only thing I can think to jot down is that I don’t wish anyone any harm. In fact I wish everyone well. You’re forever changed once you realise that you are a part of them and they a part of you and that goes for the ecosystem, the planet as a whole, the solar system, galaxy, universe (Um yeah, everything in so called existence basically baby!). To wish any living thing harm would be like cutting off my nose to spite my face or slashing my own wrists. As for whether I manage not to have thoughts of an angry, aggressive or even violent nature at times, I don’t entirely, depending on who or what it is that has pissed me off and how badly.

Moe tells Homer, “I’m a well-wisher, in that I don’t wish you any specific harm”. (Go on! Do your own impression of Moe saying that, mine was bollocks but sounded much better in my head, like most things ;-)

-

Associate With Your Shadow

I used to howl at the moon, not regularly (I don’t have George’s time of the Month issue from Being Human, as far as I knowwwwwoooooo) although I probably have once or twice because I used to like a good howl when I was younger. There was a long period during which I wasn’t in touch with nature as I had been when I was a kid. This isn’t a sob story I don’t do those, but I was quite lonely at times as a kid because I was painfully shy, like almost autistic shy, and it’s not a situation that’s gone away I just learned to cope with it by being brash and loud. I’ve toned that down as much as I can because I don’t want to be the centre of attention any more for the wrong reasons and because my ego is undergoing a much desired and controlled demolition. I can do the things that I don’t like doing and usually pretty damn well, false confidence starts to look like the real thing and can even become it when you practice often enough.

Sure it was fun to use my natural quick wit in large social groups, which is completely out of my control by the way, I assume it developed over time as a defence mechanism to keep me from having to engage in conversation, I could come out with a one liner and walk off, extricate myself from what I saw as a threat, an inconvenience, ugh communication. Anyway the comedy routine is worked out for me like the solution to a puzzle by my shadow almost instantaneously. Of course, I don’t mean the dark impression that follows us everywhere and re-integrates with us when the lights go out, I’m talking about your shadow mind, the subconscious. The part we are taught to be wary or afraid of, our animal nature, what some might refer to as our true selves but not a part that we should associate with, or try to integrate into what we call ourselves, the me, the I.

I’ve probably annoyed if not confounded many people with the way that I’ve always lived my life. I go with what I feel never what I think I know or the seemingly obvious and logical solution (sorry Spock I gotta go with my gut on this one). If I don’t have the right ‘feeling’ about a situation, party, night out, whatever, I won’t go. I’ve also turned down things based on cowardice or said yes to things based on false bravado and made all sorts of stupid mistakes, done things that I knew at the time were wrong, the wrong choice, the wrong way. One man’s coincidence is another man’s synchronicity. The number of times that things have fallen into place for me in such a sweet way are forgotten but not the instinct and insight that perhaps we are meant to be in that feeling all of the time. Our lives following a natural course. There can be no life without death and a few bumps in the road along the way between the two destinations are unavoidable, they try to knock you off course, it’s so much harder to be good than bad. Bad is so pitifully easy. When did you last hear someone say they’d succumbed to the temptation to do something good?

The subconscious mind is like a symbiotic bio-mechanical nano-technological factory. You put forward the production design specifications. If given a fair following wind, there’s a fifty fifty chance that tomorrow you will wake up in a good mood or a bad mood, what you are communicating to your shadow, the terms and status of your relationship with what is basically the rest of you that you deny, ignore or fill with everything you wish would just go away like bad thoughts, bad memories, bad emotions, what you’re putting in there decides what it spits out in despatch. Listen to moody music all the time and your buddy the shadow tells the physical brain to produce moody bastard chemicals which affect your mood and can affect your health which in turn affects your mood which affects your shadow’s current order list. It will do whatever you want it to, it’s entirely up to you what you want to put out to market. Before you fall asleep, tell it to remember your dreams and write them down as soon as you wake up, reading them back after a month is a shock, after a year a triumph or another shock. Everyone knows some clever clogs who can tell themselves what time to wake up or some such nonsense, that’s the point it isn’t nonsense it works you just have to try. They say that humans only use 10% of their brain capacity, from what I’ve seen I’d say that was being generous (I hope that makes you angry). Maybe we’re just not in touch with the other 90%?

When I’m in nature regularly I get the answers to all my questions, I’m shown the way that I need to proceed or given hope that if I hold on, if I’m willing to be patient things will resolve themselves in due course. When to Fold, when to Call, When to Raise and most importantly of all, WHEN TO HOWL AT THE MOON…

Jon
xXx
Light n Love

diss definition
1. Diss is a town (population 6742 ) in Norfolk, England close to the border with the neighbouring East Anglian county of Suffolk.
2. an insult or put-down; to put (someone) down, or show disrespect by the use of insulting language or dismissive behaviour; for dissertation
3. is an insult to someone, or to insult someone. This hip hop term is an evolved (read shortened) version of “disrespect”

subconscious definition
1. subconscious mind: psychic activity just below the level of awareness
2. The term subconscious is used in many different contexts and has no single or precise definition. This greatly limits its significance as a meaning-bearing concept, and in consequence the word tends to be avoided in academic and scientific settings. (I love that)
3. A mental process which occurs without awareness, or conscious perception on the part of the individual.

associate definition
transitive verb associated -·at′ed, associating -·at′·ing
1. to join together; connect; combine
2. to bring (a person) into relationship with oneself or another as companion, partner, friend
3. to connect in the mind to associate rain with grief

disassociate definition
transitive verb disassociated -·at′ed, disassociating -·at′·ing
1. to sever association with; separate; dissociate

Equilibrium - The Whole Truth and nothing but OR 3 Weeks and 3 Years

Mood: amused

Equilibrium is sought everywhere in the Universe. Hot things cool, Cold things warm up, discrimination becomes positive discrimination and eventually into a state of balance. Feminism has gone too far and emasculated Men, eventually we too will be in balance with each other. It isn’t right for one sex to have precedence over another, one species, race or creed to think itself superior to another. One day all of these things will come into alignment like Ice melting or steam condensing to become water.

Are we still evolving? Despite the fact that Natural selection has for the most part gone out of the window, my answer is a definite YES

What into you say? Who knows…

—-

I’ve stopped short of saying what I actually believe, either because I was (and am still) not entirely sure what that is or because I didn’t want to lay all my cards on the table for everyone to see until I had a hand and had decided what to fold. I really don’t care what anyone thinks anymore so that is freeing me up to let you in on it, The Whole Truth as I see it.

I don’t say ‘I told you so’ when I’m proved right, I think it and let you off…

I know someone who is convinced that the world will end in 2012, 3 weeks and 3 years from today on or around the 21st of December 2012 (The Winter Solstice - The shortest day and funnily enough 10 days after my Fortieth Birthday). The Mayan Calendar does indeed finish then, but no-one said anything about Armageddon, just about Apocalypse (both defined below for those that assume their definition is already correct and are wrong like I was). The Bible speaks of The End of Days being a period of Famine, Natural Disasters, Disease and War, I’d say we were there now but how can you tell the difference?

I think 2012 will mark the end of Time as we know it and if that means the end of the World as we know it too, then maybe we’re both right.

The problem here is that I too had a sense of dread and a feeling of helplessness for a long time about whatever is coming, and trust me something big is on it’s way, my instincts are only ever wrong about people not things like this. If we’re all connected in the way that I believe we are, an example of which would be the way that a bird will learn a new skill like Blue tits robbing cream from Milk Bottle tops and that skill will be transferred to other Blue Tits quicker than if they were learning it from another individual and passing it on, soon they all know the trick, too soon. Or the way that several people from different countries, from different continents even will come up with the same scientific discoveries or world changing ideas at the same time, obviously I’m referring to the past before we could annoy everyone we know constantly with our mobiles and the internet.

You could say that it is a coincidence when things like that happen, or that it was an obvious next step given what has come before for more than one person to come to the same conclusion at the same time and that’s up to you, I know different…

There are a couple of possible futures and a tipping point when one or the other will become inevitable for you. What you think is coming will help decide that for you, stay positive, immerse yourself in nature, endeavour to live the right way, ignore outside influences that aggravate you or exacerbate an already tense situation in the offing.

I still don’t know if it is The Anti-Christ and the second coming of Jesus, invasion by Aliens or first contact, or a Cosmic calamity but one thing is certain, Change Is Coming and the first signs are already here if you’re looking for them and not assuming that they have anything to do with our activities on this planet. I like to think of the latter as symptoms of our sickness, our disconnection from and the damage we’ve already done to Mother Earth, the other things are signs of what’s to come, a great upheaval. The simplest way I can put this is you’ve got to break a few eggs to make an omelette. The universe and our planet have been here for 13 and a bit billion and 3.5 billion years respectively, we’ve been here diddly squat in comparison.

Every other animal, creature, substance, conciousness in all forms simple and complex is still a part of every natural cycle and most importantly of all obeys every natural law that exists, except the majority of us. Become reconnected or risk getting left behind when the train leaves the station on it’s final journey to where Gandalf described:-

“End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path… One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass… And then you see it.”

The Veil will be lifted, The masked magician will reveal Magic’s greatest secrets, The Wizard of Oz will appear from behind the curtain and turn out to have been us all, all along…

You can stay in your comatosed state, showing off like a Human Peacock or a BowerBird lining an avenue with gaudy baubels to try to attract a mate, feathering your nest with trinkets, self medicating like an Ostrich with it’s head in the sand to avoid thinking about things or you can WAKE UP NOW!!!

Armageddon

1. The place where the final battle will be fought between the forces of good and evil.
2. The scene of a decisive conflict on a great scale.
3. Any great and crucial conflict.

Apocalypse

From Ancient Greek ἀποκάλυψις “revelation”, from ἀπό, from, and κάλυψο, secret. Because of the subject matter of the Bible book of the same name, and it being the last book of the Bible, it has come to be associated with “ending.”

Revelation and secret being the operative words need not suggest evil which is generally due to developmental injury or a predisposition genetically and bad choices. Look at how many prison inmates have latent brain damage from violent child abuse, mental illness or suffer from drug addiction. Many suffering an upbringing that shouldn’t exist in our so called Civilised First World. We’re just as much to blame for the evil that exists in the world if we do nothing about it when it can be prevented.

Does Evil exist elsewhere in nature? Predators kill, prey succumbs. Nature is variation on a huge scale… Show me a bad dog, I’ll show you a bad owner. I admit that Chimps behave intolerably towards and even kill their own species, but they’re 98% the same genetically to us, and it’s usually only ever about territory, there’s another similarity. Aren’t we murdering people for resources and so called security, from a threat we’ve only managed to increase and losing our young men and women in the process? We left the garden of Eden a very long time ago, maybe it’s time to finally go back…

We’re no better than Tribespeople, we’ve come nowhere good from the nomads and hunter gatherers that we were, in fact if you look at how hard their lives were (and are still where they can manage to co-exist in an ever shrinking world) but paradoxically how happy and contented they’re existence. We’ve made a retrograde step in the name of progress. When we didn’t have to have pets or make special trips or take things called holidays to see some animals or countryside and feel like a part of the animal kingdom again, to resume our connection to Mother Nature.

We have to take a stand in every arena of our lives, not worry about our own safety which is rarely if ever at risk in reality despite the growing tide of fear and make a difference in the lives of others and in turn ourselves. The whole Bee situation whether we caused it by masking the flower pollen from them with pollution or not, is a case in point, Einstein said 3-4 years after they go so do we and it looks like he’s right but he couldn’t come up with a Theory of everything that links the very tiny with the very Huge.

The Planet is an organism, so are we and so are bacteria, I’d say that was a Theory of everything. Fractals exist in nature from the shape of Galaxies to the shells of the tiniest mollusc, we are connected. Reminded of that in dreams and on psychedelic journeys, when we can’t help but be what we truly are instead of what others say or we’ve come to believe.

It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together. Sorry I couldn’t help putting a quote from Star Wars in there. Maybe that date will come and go and nothing will happen, personally I’ll blame the Popes who fucked about with the Calendar, for all we know it’s 1996 or 2012 already…

If you don’t care you don’t matter anymore or you soon won’t and that’s not a threat unless it’ll get you off your arse, it’s an educated guess.

Whatever you think, we’re bound together, our fates our linked.

Jon
xXx
Light n Love

We're meant to be addicted - Fan is still short for fanatic

Mood: determined

How would you feel if I told you that from tomorrow, and for the rest of your life, you can no longer have processed sugar in your diet? Only honey and the natural sugars in fruits and vegetables…

Or no alcohol ever again? Even a seasoned drinker like myself who is neither an alcoholic nor a merely social drinker who has also been known to abstain at times would find it very hard to go more than a few weeks without fancying a couple of drinks after work or a few more at the weekend.

Coffee, Tea, Nicotine. All stimulants that we have used for centuries, even though as seen recently in stories about people who drank too many espressos in one day and suffered convulsions, Caffeine in hot drinks doesn’t come without risks aswell as benefits. Nicotine has fallen from grace, recently fast becoming completely socially unacceptable, it’s a horrible feeling to be a smoker in a public place like shopping centers or having to huddle somewhere outside in the winter with your fellow smoking workmates.

We are addicted to them all and some to even harder drugs and that is what they are DRUGS. We’re all drug addicts, half the population is on anti depressants, stimulants, muscle relaxants, pain killers, tranquillizers and those are just the ones receiving a fix from their Doctor or Pharmacist let alone all the ones self medicating (I take dietary supplements for a self diagnosed condition what of it? ;-)

When they get someone off hard drugs it’s by replacing it with several substitutes, yoga, spirituality or religion, physical exercise, writing, painting, counselling others in the same position all designed to wean them off of one addiction on to some others. Other ways to invest your time and imagination, the ability to have dreams again, it’s all good and always involves connecting with people again or with the environment and nature. That is what was missing in the first place…

So many people live separate lives, so many single people today in their flats alone because it’s progress not to live at home with the family or because the modern world almost expects and wants you to spread your wings and travel, move for work. Thank goodness for social networking sites allowing us to reconnect with loved ones far away, the internet has been a massive force for good in that respect.

Connection to others is the reason we come together to be fans of the same subject or team, to gather to make something new like a performance or a show, to dance and sing together, to share festivals and celebrations and commiserations all of the things that we have lost in our rush to find work in the city at the start of the Industrial Revolution. Only to find that now the people who can still afford to do so are buying up all of our ancestral homes in the countryside, knocking three cottages into one so that they can come down from London at the weekends and stay for a few weeks in the summer, doesn’t matter that local kids have to move miles away to estates in towns on the outskirts of citys (but good for bored gardeners who can play while the owners are away, like in hottubs and on trampolines).

Community, Community, COMMonUNITY

We all want it back but whose is brave enough to build it and see if they will come?

The signs look good there is so much going on these days to reinvest in the countryside, in ways that bring people and nature and people back together again, it’s a great start but still not enough.

Do we have to be addicted to something is that in our nature?
Well it certainly seems so doesn’t it, count them up if you’ve got less than five I’d be surprised and you have to be honest and count anything that you don’t think you could do without for the rest of your life.

What will we be addicted to in the future that is positive?
The business model of pharmaceutical companies revolved around creating chemicals from scratch from a design that can be patented, they don’t understand much of what goes on in plants and naturally occurring sources of chemical compounds. Some have 500 different component parts and the interactions between them all is far too complex for them to be entirely understood with current technology.

There is a fad for linking your product with a natural basis or suggesting it is an extract of a certain fruit or vegetable, herb or plant which is the active ingredient. It’s hoped that our drive towards more ecologically sound sources of products and packaging will lead to more orders, even though things like shampoo still contain a cocktail of other chemicals which are still produced artificially with waste products from the processes that create them and all in the name of progress and saving time being the ultimate aim or making a better more profitable product.

The most natural thing is seasonal consumption, sharing to ensure a fair deal for everyone, coming together of people in celebration of good times and supporting each other through the hard times, working to overcome obstacles to build a future together and sharing stories of the past which inform the present.

Thats Tribal
It’s Primal
Natural
Right
Secure
Shamanic
A Community

We walked away from using plants to connect us to the whole of creation, we are after all just clever animals who now use plants and their derivatives to calm us down or liven us up never to search for what makes us the same as the plants and the other animals, not to commune with one another we do them to lose inhibitions or to break down the boundaries that our egos have built in the way of actually connecting with someone, to be able to avoid cynicism or the thick skins we’ve all had to develop to respond to the impetus provided by the world we’ve created. It’s our fault that it’s like this and it’s our job to respond and stop it from becoming a constantly self fulfilling prophesy, circular reasoning on a planetary scale…

Light n Love
Jon
x

My Definition, my definition is this

Location: The Lodge, no not the masonic variety, me hoose 'innegar lodge
Mood: calm amused finally job hunting for dosh to get lost
Music: My definiton by the Dream Warriors

I’ve spent the last ten years, give or take a few months, searching for answers. I’ve finally got some even though they weren’t necessarily the ones I was expecting or hoping for, nonetheless answers to all my questions have come in droves, especially over the last year since I really gave them the attention they deserved.

So what were they?

The questions were:-

Why are we here?
How do I proceed?
What is coming up?

Why are we here?

The why we are here is moot mainly because you’d need to be asking the question yourself for my definition to mean anything to you, it’s an understandable conclusion that I’ve arrived at given the experiential evidence but also subjective as all the best things in life are. The most difficult but also the single most valuable aspect is the journey not the destination, it requires littering the roadside with many long held beliefs and several paradigm shifts up through the gears until you’re finally heading towards solutions at full throttle.

How do I proceed?

I know the direction that I need to head in now and the vehicles I choose as my methods of transportation, but not the passenger list or the likely detours along the route, so it isn’t over really it’s just beginning and just as exciting as when I originally set off all those years ago. The main difference is in the amount of baggage I’ll be taking with me from now on, almost nothing, travelling progressively lighter and lighter. I’ve managed to avoid some of the pitfalls, but learned so much more from the ones I fell into, however painful they were at the time.

What is coming up?

Travels into foreign and as yet entirely unknown environs, new and inspiring landscapes unexplored by many, all the while pairing things down and down into a singularity of purpose and thought, in fact a winning argument in an ontological debating contest. Somewhere devoid of dogma or rhetoric but most especially no idle speculation only enlightened curiosity. We live in a world full of egos and boundaries which need to be dissolved one person at a time until there is a chain reaction, until critical mass is reached and there is a global transformation.

The alternative is what we have at the moment, everyone out for themselves, fear the prevailing wind emotionally and panic the undercurrent beneath the waves of the ocean of conciousness. We have become blaze, dehumanized others, given ourselves over to so called common sense, abdicated our responsibilities, set ourselves adrift separated from each other with dwindling resources and time running out to save everyone and all we can seem to do is live from hand to mouth.

The truth is that you can choose to spread the growing pains out between now and the inevitable or take it in one hit which you might not survive. Those are your only options, so choose one and let me know if you make the same decision as me. I have some well worn guidebooks of the road less travelled, some hard won or just as painfully gained hints and tips and even better a short-cut from where you are to where I am embarking from, if some of that would be of any assistance to you on your own journey. I’ve made it here alone, I’m sure it’s easier with company but it’s hard to find others to get into the same boat with you or to find the courage to ask them to and reveal its true destination. Good luck to all intrepid explorers…

Jon
xXx
Light & Love

Wishing Isn't Getting...... or is it? - Uncommon sense - Common Nonsense

Location: watching The Fifth Element
Mood: calm
Music: Plava Laguna sings the most terrific Opera and then is shot, dies and has four ancient stones removed from her abdomen

Wishing Isn’t Getting..... or is it?

If you wished you were happy instead of expecting whatever you want to buy or have bought for you next to do the job, maybe you’d get there quicker. Why do we set so much stall in our next purchase? The more extravagant it is the better right? It’ll give you more pleasure and contentment than something smaller or less significant? Well no it doesn’t actually, not permanently, it’s a quick fix to tide you over till the next so called must have gadget or fashion accessory.

I’m not being critical of the desire to better yourself, but is that the aim here, to improve myself by buying summat? Perhaps you think that if you have the flash car or the big house or the most beautiful partner you’ll be the person you’ve always dreamed of, have the life you’ve always wanted. i’d say there’s as many unhappy rich people as there are happy poor people and vice versa. But that isn’t true either, as long as you’ve got enough to eat and drink, a roof over your head and enough clothes to wear you’re pretty much set, you’ve got no worries, well nothing that you can control anyways.

Life IS flux, confusion, just when you think you’re getting ahead something comes along to fuck it all up all over again. You’d think we’d be used to it by now really but we’re always surprised by the thing we didn’t and couldn’t ever predict for obvious reasons but not that bothered when the normal becomes boring, every day is monotonous, our schedule is a routine, our life not a journey but more of an itinerary and I’ve never liked those.

I don’t want it all planned out I like to wing it, but once you know the score you can be less ecstatic more joyful in the good times and less engrossed in misery more calm in the bad times because you know one of the other will end eventually. Focus on the good, ignore the bad, have patience and faith that good things will start and bad things will end. IT’S HARD! But if you can manage it, can see the game of life for what it really is, travelling from point A (waa waa, gasp your first breath, piss all over the place, wishing the doctor hadn’t smacked your ass so hard just now) to point B (the last breath, possibly pissing yourself too unless there’s a cure for alzheimers soonish, wishing for a smooth transition from life to death).

So wishing, I nearly forgtotted the whole point of the thing and it turned into a rant slash sermon again, I must stop doing that! If you can’t do, Preach… ;-)

We’ll stick with the word wish but it’s also known as pray and hope and faith.

Ask the universe, god or whatever you want to call it for whatever you want, but don’t make it a commercial purchase, ask to be happy, and I’d hope that you’d ask for things for other people too, for those you love and maybe even for the whole world like world peace, just so it’s not a completely selfish act. You never know, if everyone did that and behaved like they meant it what would happen? The world is full of people who think they can’t make a difference or that they don’t matter.

You can and you do and believing that is fundamental to being able to accomplish anything and everything…

And hey a quick prayer or a bit of cosmic ordering can’t do any harm, it’s gotta be worth it just in case it works surely? It’s a bit like setting your intention, hinting at what you will do to get there and what you hope, not expect to get back in return. Deeds not words. Faith not fantasy (and NO I did not do the Euromillions!). A real desire to do the right thing becomes the courage to do so becomes the act of acting, a self fulfilling prophesy, your script is written by you but the universe legally retains the right to make alterations as and when it feels like it.

-

Uncommon Sense

I’ve known things whilst growing up without having to learn them, in other words it felt to me like I’d been preprogrammed, downloaded with a few skills (My oh my, when I first saw the Matrix! Wow, mainly because I’ve always wanted to be able to speak every language in the world, that and fly helicopters and shit without all the lessons cos I’m basically very lazy, were I a superhero it would be my superpower, and flying and being invisible of course).

I’d almost go as far as to say that it’s suggestive of a previous life or something like that. That feeds into the fact that I recognise people I’ve never met. For a split second there can be a sense of recognition when I see random people on the street, it’s happened to me all my life, not every day or anything like that, just every so often. The eyes are the windows to the soul or so they say, which is why when I look at someone I really, really look at them. Every aspect, every nuance, every foible, manerism, micro expression, taking it all in and forming an impression of them, their life, I Lurvvvve people watching. I prefer other peoples comings and goings to my own sometimes.

Maybe that’s why I’m so darned selfless and modest of course.

I know I’m nothing special but I also know I’m not nothing…

-

Common nonsense

There is no such thing as common sense or if there is it too is in flux, it’s like a ven diagram and I can’t believe I’m using that analogy given that I despise Mathematics or that I remembered what those things that look like pie charts overlapping are called because I’ve blanked out most of my school days. Apart from sacred geometry, the golden mean / ratio / section is a thing of beauty from nature, it’s there in the swirl of a sea shell, in the petals of a flower and in the expansion of a galaxy so I’ll accept it’s inclusion in the pantheon of Mathematical laws and patterns and anything to do with syymetry which calms me down. I have had an autistic penchant for a sheet of metallic kaleidoscopic wrapping-paper that changes when you move around and the light direction and angle change but I digress.

The overlapping pie chart thingies (ven diagrams) show areas where different subjects, objects, classes or groups of things intersect. What they have in common is the link I’m trying to make to common sense. Some people think one thing, other yet another. Your mum told you this, your friend told you that, dad said something else. You make up your mind what is common sense depending on who you trust, where you heard / learn’t it, how many times it’s been confirmed?

Don’t assume to know anything unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

I make an ass out of myself all the time but that’s my prerogative, if you assume then you’re involving both of us without asking and that’s just rude…

Jon
xXx
Light n Love

Day 36 - Santiago de Compostela at last - 8k

Leaving Monte de Gozo on a beautiful perfect morning

Let's traipse guys ;)

It’s a surreal feeling as we approach Santiago, walking the last few miles was a doddle and suddenly we’re in the Cathedral Square. We’ve made it! Group hug…

We're there it's hard to believe it but it's real we ARE HERE!

I've only ever been this ecstatic since - Not Before ;)

Off to the Pilgrim Office to register for Mass but most importantly to be interviewed for my Compostela. It’s a formality in the end but I put ‘Religious and others’ as my reasons for completing the Pilgrimage just in case they think about not giving me my certificate if I put Spiritual. Once registered, they read out the numbers of each nationality and their start point on the Camino in The Cathedral during the service but it’s in Latin so you’ve got to have your wits about you. Unfortunately they didn’t have the huge incense burner going today but it’s amazing just experiencing the Mass and there’s so many familiar faces, Andrej from the Czech Republic amongst others. Everyone is in celebratory mood with hand shakes and hugs all around.

Ola Emilio!!!

Hola Pepe You Legend

Catedral

Hey Emilio!

The next few days all roll into one huge celebration, eating out during the day, crazy nights out, meeting people I haven’t seen in weeks, sent off with a mission to explore Santiago for the ingredients for our wine and cheese party, shopping trips for souvenirs, plans for a day out to the end of the world at Finisterre, finalising travel plans.

Yves, German Girl, their friend?

I met up with Yves from France, he’s on the steps of the Cathedral with THAT German girl who I was worried would have perished on the mountain, what a relief I won’t have to worry about whether I should have done more to help her for years now. Luis and Charo! We get to say our goodbyes properly and I hope my Spanish did our farewell justice, simpatico.

This was meant to be but don't make me cry, adios Luis y Charo I will miss you

Santiago by night

A little squiffy but never been happier than I was in these days until now

We’re planning a reunion dinner on our last night so I give Cathy the nod on Facebook, she was five days behind us when we reached Santiago so it’s doubtful she’ll make it but you never know. The Bus trip to Finisterre made me realise I was missing out not walking there through some wonderful looking countryside but I didn’t mind, my knee was actually worse now I’d stopped the daily grind and I don’t regret ending my Pilgrimage at Santiago (especially as four weeks after arriving home it’s still my most obvious souvenir of the trip ;-)

My timing was impeccable as usual, we’d walked around the sea front and the street inland but come back to where we started to find somewhere to stay, backs and feet were unused to carrying rucksacks for long periods by now already and walking into the Bar to take the weight off and ask for rooms I thought I recognised the woman sat down there on the internet. Oh my

Mes Amies Quebecuoises - Gilles and Helenne

it’s Helenne and Gilles from Canada who I haven’t seen since 5k before Pamplona in Trinidad de Arre on my third day. The coincidences were everywhere. We met up with Harry and worked out an evening plan, Harry tells me that Astrid is here as well but I’m not getting my hopes up, I’ve made that mistake before.. "Astrid's here? Yeah yeah right! You're joking!" I daren't believe it...

The end of the world - The western most point in Europe - Finisterre Lighthouse

The Last Yellow Arrow?

We rock guys! Sorry terrible pun...

It’s a bittersweet feeling knowing that the journey is over. We spent a while looking out from the tip of Europe towards America although I’m not sure how good an idea swigging a bottle of red wine on the rocks was, at least unlike some people I could mention, we didn’t have three bottles each, light a fire and have a party. Hello, two Spanish pilgrims from weeks ago, there are reunions happening all over the place.

Jorge and friend where we are reunited and several times thereafter in Santiago

I see Stephen from Kentucky who tells me all about getting ‘leached’ after wandering around in the river after one of his sandals. This is wonderful, ok I’ve cheated and caught the bus to get here but otherwise I’d never have seen all my friends again. Jong Hee is here too what a surprise. The meal together is great as my French Canadian friends are there with their Camino companions too so we can catch up a bit. We started the Camino together and got to see each other again right at the end of the world.

We’re sat round tables outside a bar enjoying one of our last nights in Spain, yards from the Beach, when who should arrive but Astrid. It was fabulous to see Astrid again, we hugged, that one went straight into my top three hugs of all time. I was able to sneakily give her the note I’d written all those weeks ago when we were looking for paper to write peoples email addresses on before she had to leave to get to her Albergue in case they closed. Astrid reappeared, it was hard to remember what I’d written because it was so long ago but I managed to tell her now what a positive impact she’d had on my Camino and me. I’d wanted to spend some of it with her but that just isn’t how it worked out in the end. We all got pretty toasted until late but I remember Jess said some of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me, I nearly got a big head. I’ll always treasure that night.

Back to Santiago and there’s just Jess and me left, we’ve both got Hotels in different parts of town but meet to go to Mass again as Otmar should be there and our reunion dinner is tonight. Claudia from my first few days, oh what a nice surprise, Andrej is there too and knows her, what a small world the Camino is. We get to see the monks sending the huge incense burner up towards the roof by pulling together on ropes, what a spectacle.

Cathy is too far away to make it but has a never say never attitude judging by her message from a few days ago on the internet. We meet at 7:30 on the steps of the Cathedral and wait for Steffy and her boyfriend to arrive before setting off, my Canadian friends are there, Harry, Jess, Otmar, Stefan, Heinrich from Casa Marie not seen for a month until I bumped into him the day before, and his friend Gabriella from Australia.






The restaurant we’d wanted to eat at was closed so we traipse back through town to another and take half the place over immediately, tables being rearranged.

Harry pops off to the cashpoint and goes to the one near the Pilgrim Office only to bump into, Cathy! I thank Saint James for the amazing synchronicity and Cathy gets massive hugs all round and her pack is taken off her and a large wine is poured. The reunion dinner is complete.

Otmar - sent me several cd's of all his pictures what a lovely man

Get it down ya you bloody deserve it my friend

So um tipsy I manage to zip half of my new Camino fleece and my walking jacket up together

The drinking and bar crawling goes on until well past 2:00am interspersed with emotional goodbyes, how could I have thought an early night to prepare for my flight was on the cards? The Spanish are crazy, the bars are only getting more full as we leave and people are ordering food, I’m gonna miss all of this. Walk Jess through town towards her hotel and back hoping I don’t get dirty looks or complaints from the poor sod who is waiting to let me in back at mine. I don’t know about anyone else but I didn’t want that night to end or my Camino…

Day 35 - Monte de Gozo - 40k

Animo Jon? ANIMO JON! Animate yourself Jon.... sighing, ok better had... ;)

Cross growing in the woods

White bread, cheese and cured bacon. Not the best lunch every day for bungedupedness...

It’s an Australian feel to the day as we’re walking through eucalyptus woods as far as the eye can see.

Little Red Danish Man at our mid morning break - Lars or Arni depending on who you ask

We get a move on and our conversation takes us right past Arca where we’d planned to stop for the day. In fact we’d left Rebecca behind us on the trail as she wanted to walk at her own pace, weighted down by the huge pack she had, it’d gotten to the point that she was too near to Santiago to post any of it on to collect from there.

When we realised that we were walking past an Airport, Megan and Jeff commented that they’d landed somewhere similar to this and we started to wonder where we were. By the time we exited the woodland and walked along the main road a few yards, there was a stone sign with Santiago on it.

We’d walked five miles further than we’d planned and had a choice of walk back, take a taxi back, or walk another five miles to the next Albergue as it was imperative to get a stamp every day to earn your Compostela. We were gutted because we’d said to Rebecca that we’d see her in Arca and what would she think when we weren’t there?

Pushing on was the decision as I would have stood there for ages in despair otherwise, so we carried on and who should we catch up with?

Luis and Charo, you guys were meant to be in Santiago today weren’t you?

Statue atop the hill at Monte de Gozo with a view of Santiago, but not today ;(

We make it to Monte de Gozo only to find that thery’re setting up for the Festival of San Marcos with a huge sound system and stage being built as we passed by. There was a statue on the hill where Pilgrims in the past could get their first glimpse of Santiago and most importantly of the Cathedral spires.

Me ol' mucker Pope J.P.II my namesake - A Great friend and supporter of the Camino

Modern building has meant that you can see the town but not the Cathedral from here so we would have to wait for that until tomorrow morning. At least this way we’ll be in Santiago early enough for Mass on the Sunday and won’t have a huge walk for the last day. I’m showered when who should arrive but Rebecca, thank goodness for that. She’d made it here and everyone could relax and enjoy themselves. Emilio was in another room so we should get a decent nights sleep too. Met up with all our friends and went for dinner, coming back past the party in full swing but finding that bed is calling louder than music...

Day 34 - Ribadiso de Baixo - 26k

We are in the middle of nowhere when we stumble upon Casanova a tiny hamlet (I think that big house was it) where the historical figure is said to have come from.

Just enough time to pose by the sign and move on down the road towards Ribadiso but it’s several kilometres past the last town today and a few outside of the next one we plan to hit tomorrow, so deciding that if we’re ever going to experience Jess’s fabled soup, we’d better buy ingredients in Melide and carry them until we reach our destination.

Stopped into a church. I passed along the way ;)
Beautiful Cross and Scallop shell of Saint James

We’ve stocked up and separated our purchases between our rucksacks so after a good lunch break in an attempt to miss the rain outside, sipping yet more sidra's eating some freshly prepared food in a bar, we raincover our packs and ramble on. It’s caught us out in the afternoon after a dry spell and we get a bit soaked but push on until reaching Ribadiso finally.

The only shop within hobbling distance is a garage, it's k's into town from our beauty spot
No eating utensils or plastic cups I just look at strangely named products
And avoid going back empty handed or clutching car parts

I make an excursion towards town to see if there’s a Vodaphone shop for Jess but have to turn back because it looks like a very heavy shower is on the way, five minutes later it’s bright sunshine instead. As good as my instincts are, they're not always right yet, if ever. When the meal is ready I come back to find the dining room is more like a banqueting hall with a huge open fireplace on one side and long tables. Our feast has been prepared in the one cooking pot provided so until we finish all the soup we can’t cook the main course. Between the jars that the ingredients came in for bowls and our water bottles for wine glasses and the forks we were able to borrow from the bar next door we just had enough utensils to go around.

I’ve never had a better meal although it’s tied with the one from Sarria, the Camino has taught me how little you need to be happy. Shelter, good food and drink and good company.

Day 33 - Palas de Rei (Palace of the King) or noisy shit'ole - 25k

Leaving Portomarin Over Rickety Bridge Over the Lake

The countryside around is bursting with life, there are brightly coloured lizards in the walls, scurrying away as you get a flash of a vibrant green body and blue head and it reminds me so much of home, big clumps of dandelions everywhere and lush green meadows. We stop in the morning for coffee / hot chocolate break and for a bite to eat. There’s a big black dog there and I assume as it’s got a collar but no lead that it’s the Cafe’s pooch. Everyone gives it a stroke as it’s very friendly, with wild wolfish face, bright orange eyes and a pronounced limp where it looks like its hip is seized or the leg is painful. It’s thin but with a glossy coat and in good condition apart from that.

Not Sirius but Another Very Large Dog

Stopping in the afternoon for a Sidra, this is becoming a habit at every stop now. My excuse is it’s very refreshing and when in Rome and all that. There’s a black dog like the one at the place earlier, it’s the same one someone says. In fact it’s the same dog that was at the place last night apparently. We leave the Cafe and try not to be followed by that dog, Megan gives him a drink of water in her hat but he just wants to get on down the trail and wanders off so we do too. Oh well nothing to do but walk on, the dog had terrible road skills and insists on walking right down the middle and doesn’t want to get over even when nearly hit head on by impatient road users.


Fields are full of young crops, cute lambs and kids, the woodland is oak trees and bluebells and feeling even more like home as the paths are soft dry mud and leaves instead of rough and stoney for once although there are a lot of ups and downs which is making it tough going and even harder work as it’s suddenly gotten hot out, well into the mid twenties so water has become an issue again although there’s bars or vending machines dotted about for that.

Pilgrim Cemetary From the First Time of Peregrination

Arriving at Palas de Rei we go to the Municipal Albergue which are cheap and figure out that we should save money on the accommodation and pay for dinner instead as there’s a big kitchen but never any utensils in them. We’ve been there a few minutes and met an old English gentleman who has walked since St Jean and regales us with tales of running up Kilimanjaro and his other travels. I pop out to get some bits and pieces only to nearly step on the big black dog who has parked himself on the doorstep outside. Tony the British guy reveals when it’s mentioned that he’d seen a black dog with a red collar in St Jean and warns us not to look the dog in the eye because he’ll follow you, so this dog must have walked 25k a day off the back of food and water from Pilgrims. Sirius as he is now called has walked as far as me and in less time darn it, I’m convinced he’s the reincarnation of a Pilgrim who is making the journey again in this life.


We head out for dinner, several Sidra’s later and another reunion with Snorey guy and Funky chick, I am embarrassed to ask them their names after all this time, they’re Luis and Charo from Madrid. It’s getting late and I realise that it’s five to ten already, we’ve been enjoying the nightlife so much times flown by.

Daughter of a family doing the camino, Megan, Rebecca, Jess, Me, Jeff, Emilio ;)
I remember the sunset was absolutely stunning but got back to my huge Litre of Sidra

I reach the door to the Albergue after paying my tab and find the door is being locked. I explain that there’s my friends still to come and Emilio is there to say the same thing after he’s just poured a plate of Octopus and a beer down his throat and sprinted round to placate the increasingly irate and flustered woman. We all get in but the room that gave such good views this afternoon is right by the road and between the noises of traffic, barking dogs and the heat in there with all the radiators on it’s almost impossible to get to sleep. Emilio is below me on the bottom bunk and every time i drop off he’s snoring and waking me up, I’m fast asleep finally and get jolted awake by the English pensioner Tony telling me I’m snoring and keeping everyone awake. I try my best not to disturb anyone although strictly speaking it isn’t my fault as far as I know. I’m asleep again when suddenly he’s having another go, “You’ve got a serious problem, you should leave and see a doctor.” This time I see others are awake and restless and despite Jess’s attempts to reassure me that it was him who woke everyone up by screaming at me, I leave and take my sleeping bag to the top floor. There’s only some leather sofas up here but pushing them together I get a single bed of sorts which is cool and open all the windows to get some fresh air. I wonder if he got up again to have a go at me and realised that it was Emilio making all the racket.

Day 32 - Portomarin, a big black dog and Hoots mon I need some new Boots - 21k

Showed off my knowledge of reptiles by picking up a slow worm
- Only for it to try to bite me, almost shat myself and let him go...

We reach the 100k marker today and also the realisation that every Albergue from here on in may be full of Spanish teenagers, oh joy. After last night though we didn’t have anything to worry about, because when walking off to explore we’d seen a huge group of kids enter the place we’d just left and hoped they didn’t wake Jess up as they traipsed in and I even wished they wouldn’t stay which was particularly uncharitable of me. They did but were in the rooms on the terraces out in the garden so were no bother. However when we got to Portomarin not only were Jeff’s boots suffering and falling apart but a huge group of kids arrived just after we’d checked in and on a coach too the lazy little… Their walk would start the next day, to complete the minimum of 100K to get your Compostela.

Meeting Snorey guy and Funky chick once again, we decide to go for a drink together. Rebecca, Jess and I had been sipping beers for hours when Megan arrived to say that Jeff was still working on his boots so I popped back to give the guy a hand at tying them up to give his newly purchased glue a chance to work overnight. I remember seeing a very large black dog wandering around out the back when I was hanging up my washing to dry but I kept my distance and got back to getting ready to go out for dinner.



Everywhere serves Santiago cake on the Pilgrim Menu. It’s an almond cake with the Cross of Saint James stencilled on the top in Icing Sugar and after the novelty of the first few times became like ‘Salad Mixed’ a staple of their offerings. As did Octopus or Pulpo as it’s called. The tentacles are cooked and served with a cocktail stick, suckers are still visible and yes I tried it so that I could say I had. We went for a nightcap at a bar down the street and set another habit for the rest of the Camino, late nights and late mornings. We hadn’t left Sarria this morning until after 10:00 because we’d stopped for everyone to have breakfast.

The Chruch of Portomarin - Rebuilt stone by stone when the original village was flooded to create the lake we walked over to get into the village in the first place...

Leaving later was giving me less time in the afternoons for routines but what the hey I was having a blast, so what if there were massive patches of dead skin that needed attention or if my feet weren’t getting their ten minutes solid massaging before bed or not getting hold of an orange, bread, ham and cheese for daily rations because it meant I didn’t have to carry that stuff around. I’d had enough of carrying my world on my back so any lightening of the load was just what I needed right now. Once I’d gotten my travel plans sorted out for me and didn’t have to worry about that I went from being miserable and homesick to not wanting this adventure to end. From one extreme to the other in a day.

Day 31 - Sarria and the Fortress of Solitude - 25k

We got up late and left in minutes, Jess had been unwell and up several times in the night so we just walked and talked all day, reaching the Monastery of Samos as part of a detour of 7k extra for the day.

Instead of visiting said Monastery, even though attempts were made to persuade us by a large jolly gentleman called Emilio who they’d met back at O Cebreiro we sat in the sun and had hot drinks and a cider. Megan was raving about the local stuff called Sidra so we had one each. It was perfect, refreshing, like applejuice but six percent so quite a kick.







House with a tree growing in the doorway





We just carried on walking and following the river making it thankfully to Sarria where Megan’s perfect Spanish was starting to make everything easier although it’s harsh to put that on someone.







The Merry Wanderers - Oy wait for me































The last stretch was up loads of steps into the old town, I saw pilgrims I recognised everywhere including Funky Chick but not Snorey guy, I wonder where he’s got to? We headed for the place that our guide books said had a kitchen as we planned to make our own dinner this evening and boy did we choose the right one.

Albergue Don Alvaro was on the main street at the top of the hill that the Town was built around, a large Town house it had beautiful tiled floors, wood panelling everywhere and tapestries and paintings covering the walls even in the bunk rooms. We were shown around and offered our choice of rooms, the kitchen was perfect with a hob and work surfaces, the garden had a koy pond and a separate dining room through patio doors, there was also a room further down the way with a huge fireplace surrounded by stools. There was a guitar by the door and shot glasses with bottles of various brown and clear liquids on the table, we were invited to join our host after dinner, once his kids were in bed. Two sun terraces including washing lines on the top one with wonderful views of the whole of Sarria in every direction. Jess had made it this far but was flagging even after she’d managed to down a bottle of water during the day with one of the sachets I’d carried with me for nearly five weeks of salts and sugars replacement powder and went to bed, fair play to her for soldiering on though what a trouper.

Jeff, Megan and I left her and Rebecca to it to go sightsee as we’d heard about the Fortress and wanted to check it out. It was a bit of a let down in that all there was left of it was one tower with a castle-y bit of brickwork on top and cow sheds where the rest of ‘The Fortress’ was on the map. Apparently someone, the descendants of the original owner, still lived there although it was a tiny little place with a huge garden and not much else. The walk took us down and around past the Monastery school for a visit to its church and quiet courtyard, then onto the streets below where the Church we were looking for was either gone or had been surrounded so closely by tower blocks that we couldn’t find it. Two old women who looked so old, almost as though they were already dead, directed us towards a supermarket after an exchange between them. I wondered how many years they’d sat in that spot and watched everything change around here.

I must admit to making myself scarce while the preparations were being made for the meal but you know what they say about too many cooks? There was a huge spread of pork steaks with red peppers and garlic, fresh bread, salad, the most wonderful tortilla and lots to drink so we got stuck into that. A marvellous evening as Jess awoke in time to join us feeling a lot better and we all got a chance to get to know one another a bit more and tell our tall tales of the Camino so far to the shock and delight of our new friends. The wine went fast as did the Strawberries I’d bought for pudding, many conversations revolved around the cultural differences between us, especially the word pudding. After dinner our host invited us to join him in the fireroom for a nightcap but he wasn’t there when we made it through so we burned the rest of the midnight oil with a few shots of varying strengths and a chat whilst sat enjoying the flames and warmth.